Faith in the Face of Failure

I went to the DMV today to take the driving test. I failed because I had trouble changing lanes and nearly caused an accident. It's not that I'm a bad driver, just that the circumstances piled too many things on my plate, and I was afraid of a possible muscle cramp.

This fear terrifies me.

It's not that I'm worried about it happening and me forcing my way through it--I just hate the severe burning pain associated with the muscle cramps and what I have to do to get through it.

Naturally, I was pretty devastated when I failed the driving test.

I choose to rejoice in God however.

It was a learning experience for me, and I am glad the tester explained to me the precise rules for driving, and I think I have gained from it overall.

I'm also thankful that I didn't cause an accident.

Despite the things I have to be thankful for, it's hard to shrug it off. Excuse the pun, but it was a crippling blow to my self-esteem.

Even so, I cannot just wallow in my angst and frustration. If anything, I need to stand firmer now in my faith than I would under any other circumstances.

Sometimes it seems difficult to grasp why certain things happen the way they do, like with me, I was convinced me driving was on God's checklist. I hadn't seen any blatant signs or anything, and there's not exactly a Bible verse that says "And the LORD sayeth, thou shalt buckle up and drive verily" but it seemed like what God wanted me to do asap. It felt like so many more opportunities to serve God would arise if I could just quit carpooling.

Truthfully, it's what I wanted more than what God wanted, at least for right now.

Who is to say however, that I have to be able to drive to do the Lord's work? Heck, Phillip carpooled, and he sure managed to win souls.

Yes, waiting even longer to get my license, then hand controls for my car, and after that, my independence, it hurts but it's no reason for me to lose heart. I've got to stand strong no matter what.

Some people might say this failure is nothing more than an attack by Satan. Whether or not that is true, I don't know. Although I believe strongly in the concept of spiritual warfare, I can't say with scripture to back it up that I am important enough for Satan to attack like that.

But just in case it is something like that, I have prepared myself.