Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A funny thing called choice

Christianity is founded on one principle above all others. You could argue this one principle is even more fundamental to Christianity as a whole than Jesus' dying on a cross.

It's the concept of free will.

God gave us free will, so that we could choose for ourselves what seemed like the wisest decision for us.

I'm sure we've all heard the story of free will in the garden of Eden, and how Adam and Eve chose to sin rather than be with God.

Then, some of us choose to believe in God, and we do our best to see where that takes us in life.

What about the choices we see others make? As unaffiliated third parties, it often feels like we can see details others can't in their own lives. Sometimes, we want to step in but we know it's a pointless effort because people are stubborn mules whose minds cannot be changed.

In those cases, we're left feeling helpless, like all we can do is pray for their well-being and wonder how the choice they made fits into God's plan.

A while back, my brother broke up with his girlfriend of five years. At the same time, he started hanging out with this other chick. When he broke up with Amanda, my family and I were all really devastated because we loved Amanda and we wanted to see the two of them stay together. They had been really good together, and it was a total shock when my brother ended the relationship.

Just today, Facebook told me what I'd kind of suspected since he broke up with Amanda; he was dating the other chick.

It would be nice if I could say I didn't make stupid decisions, but to do so would be lying.

A little more than a year and a half ago now, I proposed to my first girlfriend even though at that time it had been like three years since we'd last dated. She was engaged to a butthead she hated, and I wanted her to see, funnily enough, there was always a choice. Fortunately for me, Shana said no. Had she said yes, I would have thrown my entire life down the storm drain.

Of course, I couldn't see that at the time.

If I'd married her, I wouldn't be where I am in my faith today because for starters, Shana was not a born-again Christian. Even though she grew up in a church, she didn't know what it meant to be saved. I shudder to think that I could have married a girl who gets offended if you talk about the Bible.

It's the choices made by those who are closest to me that seem the hardest to bear. I've seen friends reject the Lord or fall to the allure of idiots. As a friend, I want only to support them in their decisions--God knows I can't live their life for them. Heck, I can barely live mine, let alone someone else's at the same time. When I can, I try to guide them in a safer, saner direction, but usually I don't have the luxury. If I offer advice and they don't want it, I better duck.

So, I pray.

Because I've been thinking a lot recently about the choices my peers make, I pray also that God will help me be a positive influence on their lives. I know I'm no expert decision-maker myself, but I believe God can and will use me regardless.

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