I've got a lot on my mind, and I think a lot of what is on my mind relates to my faith. I have not written an entry for this blog in more than a year, partly due to time management issues, partly due to having very little to say in a format that was worth writing. I also didn't want to get into the habit of using this blog as a soapbox to stand up and shout at people, which I'm sure I could do without meaning to.
At this point in my life, I am engaged to be married, I'm trying to move out of my parents' house and into an apartment four hours away, and I'm looking for a job since I am about to graduate with my Masters. It's hard because I still don't have my Driver's License (although that might change here soon), I'm in a wheelchair (whatever that means in my case), and the only source of income I have at the moment is a hobby business I have selling costume props I made out of Nerf guns.
Even with a perspective as narrowed-in as just what is going on in my life, I have tons of challenges to trust God with. Despite how I may make it look, it's not easy. If I let myself, I could easily slip into despair, anxiety, frustration, entitlement, or even hopelessness.
But, I choose not to.
Not that simply choosing not to feel a certain way automatically means you don't feel that way. Sometimes it's unavoidable to feel the way you feel. I choose not to because I recognize the root cause of all these internal emotional dilemmas is not based on truth. Each of these feelings I am experiencing or could experience at any moment relate to fear of failure, or suffering, or disappointment, or going without, or of struggling. We've all got them.
Yet, the truth is I don't have to doubt God is faithful. For every single one of those emotional pitfalls I'm facing, I can list the truth that disregards my fear and doubt. As in, I may wrestle with how these things are going to play out but, get this, there's no point.
Here's where people with an Eeyore mentality might just give up and throw in the towel and wallow in their own putrid inconsolability, but sometimes I think Eeyore needs to get the tack out of his butt.
The reason there's no point worrying about the little details of my life are because my God is so much bigger than that! When you realize the world is so much more than the tiny bubble we live in, it puts things in perspective. Our own personal faith struggles are nothing compared to the enormity of the chaos in this world.
I'm not trying to say that the hardships we face on a day-to-day basis don't matter--because they do. I just think it's easy to get distracted by what is in front of our own two eyes and miss the bigger picture of what God is doing in the world.
Often, I get the impression I am too radical in my faith, that I've gone off the deep end in lots of people's eyes because the most important thing that matters to me is introducing as many people as I can to my best friend Jesus.
But why?
Jesus is not a religion, for starters, but that's another topic for another day.
Let me tell you about the hope that I have, the hope that bridges the gaps between believing in something far off in the distance that I will one day have and the real tangible needs I have in the here-and-now.
The Bible promises the Lord will provide for us, meeting all our needs. He will clothe us, feed us, and take care of us so we have nothing to worry about.
Sure, we in our fallen state, we will fail and we will fall short, but it does not make us worthless or incapable of getting back up and trying again. God is the God of the impossible.
I could go on and on about the wonders of the Lord and how many times he has come through for me, but my point is that with all the incredible moments in your own life where God has kept his promises to you, how can you not want to share it with the world?
Me, I look at the terrorist attacks in Paris and Beirut, and I see people begging for these answers, the universal truths we all hunger for. Even in the terrorists, I see a cry for justice, and love and compassion--I don't care what the sin is, we're all trying to fill a God-sized hole, and forgiveness is offered to everyone not because they deserved it, but because they didn't. That's what love is! People always quote John 3:16--for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life--but people always forget what comes next! Verses 17 and 18 say God didn't send Jesus to crack the whip and condemn the world--they were condemned already! Who knows how things would have been different if the terrorists had tasted that!
In response to the terrorist attacks, lots of people are freaking out about the whole Syrian refugee crisis, but you know what? Call me crazy, but I feel we need to fling the gates wide open and welcome them with open arms! I don't care that one in however many could be a terrorist! Has anyone ever stopped to consider that by not accepting them in love, we might be creating a generation of terrrorists for our children to get slaughtered by?
Nevermind the fact the Bible commands the Lord's people to take in and shelter refugees all over the Old and New Testaments.
Ugh, love is the answer people.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Friday, July 25, 2014
That Old Clunker Always Was Faithful
It's so easy to see the negative, where our own misperceptions make us believe God fell short or that he somehow forgot us or left us stranded somewhere.
I can almost hear some Christians gasping at the statement I just made, as if they've never had moments of doubting God's faithfulness.
The truth is, if we're honest with ourselves, we all have moments where we doubt God is going to pull through, or that he can handle our situation, or sometimes, even whether or not he exists at all. I don't care who you are. There are always going to be moments that challenge us and force us to choose whether or not we trust God is going to show up before we shut down.
You probably had one today, didn't you?
My sister drives this late-90s red Dodge Neon, and she's had it forever. She's not having any troubles with it right now, praise God, but it's a miracle she isn't. I swear, that car is falling apart in so many ways, I can hardly believe it's still running.
The automatic door locks growl every time she unlocks the car--I don't think she can even use the unlock button anymore without the solenoids in each door screeching until she turns the car off. Frankly, I'm not even sure if that's the current state of the unlock button; for all I know, the problem could've gotten worse since I noticed it.
Heck, her car leaks oil, and according to a mechanic friend of ours, she's got lots of tiny leaks all over the place. Although she had an oil change recently (which incidentally caused another leak that our mechanic friend had to "bless"), I'm pretty sure at least once in the car's lifetime, it's gone a year of driving past when she'd actually needed an oil change. I'm not blaming my sister because she actually does try to do the upkeep on her car, more than almost any woman would normally, but I am commenting on the incredible fact the car is still running.
It's even more amazing when you realize the college she went to was about fifty-six miles away, she came home every weekend for work, and on multiple occasions, she would make the entire trip and realize upon arriving or returning she forgot her uniform in her dorm or her art project at home and then make the trip twice more in the course of a few hours. Moreover, she is prone to impromptu road trips to Northern Virginia, between four and six hours away; mostly, she would pick up a friend she knew in high school who has since moved away, come back home with the friend, and three days later make the trek again. I feel like this happens at least once a month, sometimes more frequently depending on work schedules.
With what little I understand about the inner workings of a car, I recognize her car probably shouldn't be driving as well as it seems to be.
That being said, if I were in her place, I could see myself grumbling about the noisy locks or the masking tape holding the ceiling fabric up, or even about the difficulty in removing the oil nut when it's time to change the oil. The car isn't the greatest on gas, although it's not the worst either, but still, it could be better considering how small the car is. It has had problems before, like when it needed tires so bad it failed inspection or the time it left her stranded on the side of the road at one in the morning. There's certainly a lot to be dissatisfied with, compared to any newer car on the road.
But the car is faithful. Somehow, it's always gotten her where she needed to go, and she's still driving it to this day. She's at work right now, and it's sitting in the parking lot waiting for her shift to end. Even if it doesn't make sense, the car is still reliable, meeting her needs, and going with her on her journey.
I see God's work in that. In fact, I see God's work in all sorts of mundane things. I cannot tell you how many times I see God has provided for, sustained, protected, comforted, guided, or blessed somebody--anybody--myself included--and they responded by complaining. It actually makes me angry to see it.
Recently, a very wise redhead I know spotted me complaining and feeling down when I had no reason to other than that I had lost sight of the big picture and felt God was putting me in a place where I worried about how much I had to trust him. She told me to look back at all the times God had been faithful, and it was exactly what I needed to hear and exactly what I needed to do.
I don't remember the context, but a day or two later, a girl from my small group repeated the message from God as she drove us to the bible study.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, it is the Lord who preserves my life. The moment I start remembering the prayers he's answered, the promises he's fulfilled, the love he's bestowed on my life, I wonder why I ever got so low in the first place. With a God like ours, I can rest assured that the Lord will fulfill his purpose for me and he will not forsake the work of his hands.
Thinking back on what I wrote at the beginning of this post, perhaps the Christians that would have gasped at the doubt I was showing weren't gasping because I doubted, but maybe it's because they see the big man upstairs is nothing if not faithful.
I know that's what I did when I rediscovered how faithful God has been in my life.
I can almost hear some Christians gasping at the statement I just made, as if they've never had moments of doubting God's faithfulness.
The truth is, if we're honest with ourselves, we all have moments where we doubt God is going to pull through, or that he can handle our situation, or sometimes, even whether or not he exists at all. I don't care who you are. There are always going to be moments that challenge us and force us to choose whether or not we trust God is going to show up before we shut down.
You probably had one today, didn't you?
My sister drives this late-90s red Dodge Neon, and she's had it forever. She's not having any troubles with it right now, praise God, but it's a miracle she isn't. I swear, that car is falling apart in so many ways, I can hardly believe it's still running.
The automatic door locks growl every time she unlocks the car--I don't think she can even use the unlock button anymore without the solenoids in each door screeching until she turns the car off. Frankly, I'm not even sure if that's the current state of the unlock button; for all I know, the problem could've gotten worse since I noticed it.
Heck, her car leaks oil, and according to a mechanic friend of ours, she's got lots of tiny leaks all over the place. Although she had an oil change recently (which incidentally caused another leak that our mechanic friend had to "bless"), I'm pretty sure at least once in the car's lifetime, it's gone a year of driving past when she'd actually needed an oil change. I'm not blaming my sister because she actually does try to do the upkeep on her car, more than almost any woman would normally, but I am commenting on the incredible fact the car is still running.
It's even more amazing when you realize the college she went to was about fifty-six miles away, she came home every weekend for work, and on multiple occasions, she would make the entire trip and realize upon arriving or returning she forgot her uniform in her dorm or her art project at home and then make the trip twice more in the course of a few hours. Moreover, she is prone to impromptu road trips to Northern Virginia, between four and six hours away; mostly, she would pick up a friend she knew in high school who has since moved away, come back home with the friend, and three days later make the trek again. I feel like this happens at least once a month, sometimes more frequently depending on work schedules.
With what little I understand about the inner workings of a car, I recognize her car probably shouldn't be driving as well as it seems to be.
That being said, if I were in her place, I could see myself grumbling about the noisy locks or the masking tape holding the ceiling fabric up, or even about the difficulty in removing the oil nut when it's time to change the oil. The car isn't the greatest on gas, although it's not the worst either, but still, it could be better considering how small the car is. It has had problems before, like when it needed tires so bad it failed inspection or the time it left her stranded on the side of the road at one in the morning. There's certainly a lot to be dissatisfied with, compared to any newer car on the road.
But the car is faithful. Somehow, it's always gotten her where she needed to go, and she's still driving it to this day. She's at work right now, and it's sitting in the parking lot waiting for her shift to end. Even if it doesn't make sense, the car is still reliable, meeting her needs, and going with her on her journey.
I see God's work in that. In fact, I see God's work in all sorts of mundane things. I cannot tell you how many times I see God has provided for, sustained, protected, comforted, guided, or blessed somebody--anybody--myself included--and they responded by complaining. It actually makes me angry to see it.
Recently, a very wise redhead I know spotted me complaining and feeling down when I had no reason to other than that I had lost sight of the big picture and felt God was putting me in a place where I worried about how much I had to trust him. She told me to look back at all the times God had been faithful, and it was exactly what I needed to hear and exactly what I needed to do.
I don't remember the context, but a day or two later, a girl from my small group repeated the message from God as she drove us to the bible study.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, it is the Lord who preserves my life. The moment I start remembering the prayers he's answered, the promises he's fulfilled, the love he's bestowed on my life, I wonder why I ever got so low in the first place. With a God like ours, I can rest assured that the Lord will fulfill his purpose for me and he will not forsake the work of his hands.
Thinking back on what I wrote at the beginning of this post, perhaps the Christians that would have gasped at the doubt I was showing weren't gasping because I doubted, but maybe it's because they see the big man upstairs is nothing if not faithful.
I know that's what I did when I rediscovered how faithful God has been in my life.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
My need for community
Let me humble myself here before I say anything else. I know myself. I need community, and I need it bad. Without it, I get irritable, judgmental, clouded. I'm desperate to get out of my bubble and love other people, but sometimes I feel defeated by my current situation in life that more often than not keeps me trapped at home with only a limited social sphere. I've got my family, my roommates, and then the closest of my friends, but other than that, I don't always get the social interactions I crave.
When it comes down to it, I need to be loved, and to love. I need to pour into others and I need to have others pour into me. Call it what you will, I need to have people to be interested in, and I need people to be interested in me, no matter how dorky, awkward, or weird my stuff might be. It is what it is.
The thing is, I don't like to settle. I can't live with any old interactions talking about the weather or the clothes people are wearing, or even the latest sports scores. I want the real stuff--if it involves hurt or hope or general happiness, I want to know about it. I don't care who you are. I aim to give you as transparent an image of my life as possible, and I expect the same from you, whether or not you agree.
While leading a house church, I saw firsthand how quintessential authentic loving communities are to anyone. The closest thing I know to compare it to is our need to express our own sexuality. Everyone needs to interact with someone of the opposite sex and develop physical and emotional intimacy with someone else. Likewise, I discovered how many people lack community in their life, and what that meant for the expression of the good news of Jesus in their lives.
Shortly after the house church I led became a unified group devoted to loving one another and encouraging others in the direction God was taking them, people started getting saved and lives were being changed. What's crazier was that it was happening even without an "altar call" whatsoever. It was simply the power of the Holy Spirit manifesting in people's lives as their emotional and spiritual needs were being met, one of which being their sense of belonging and acceptance.
Since then, one thing I try to do in my efforts to disciple people is to network with multiple churches and then bring them together in ways each person's strengths can build off every one else's strengths, as well as spur someone on to a deeper relationship with Jesus. Typically, the community of believers that forms out of a hodge-podge of strangers astonishes everyone present.
Even though I understand the importance of community to anyone breathing, I am surprised at what God has been and is doing in me through my efforts to bring believers together as friends and individuals in something bigger than themselves. Never once did I envision that it could send me to France one day.
Right now, I am actively involved with two churches, but one more than the other. It's almost like I'm in transition between my home church, and this church plant I've been going to for two and a half months. Yet, I'm not. There is a delicate balance between total involvement in one church at the expense of abandoning another.
What's more, God recently showed me an old acquaintance whom is now leading the college ministry at a church I used to visit. If everything works out, I might get the chance to rekindle my relationship with yet another church, potentially giving me the ability to have three sending churches when I go to France in about a year.
In case I haven't been clear, I don't network with all these churches just to meet the strongest Christians in the bunch and then mash them together in whatever ministry machine I need to disciple whichever person I happen to be working with at any given moment. Nah, I'm earnestly trying to draw near to God in complete assurance of my own faith.
I don't worry about what people think of me when I go church-hopping, and in all honesty, I expect my personality and love for Jesus will result in my being accepted and welcomed into any church I visit. Every time I check out another church, I hold fast to the confession of my hope, knowing that he who promised is faithful.
Wherever I go, I do my best to spur others on to love and good works, but the thing I need to make sure I always do is not neglect to meet together, because that could very easily become a habit of mine because I am visiting with so many churches so frequently.
I have no idea what God's doing inside of you, but I know God's up to something bigger than me here, larger than life, something heavenly.
(And yes, in case you were wondering, I'm listening to worship music on Pandora right now, and Sanctus Real was playing as I concluded this entry).
When it comes down to it, I need to be loved, and to love. I need to pour into others and I need to have others pour into me. Call it what you will, I need to have people to be interested in, and I need people to be interested in me, no matter how dorky, awkward, or weird my stuff might be. It is what it is.
The thing is, I don't like to settle. I can't live with any old interactions talking about the weather or the clothes people are wearing, or even the latest sports scores. I want the real stuff--if it involves hurt or hope or general happiness, I want to know about it. I don't care who you are. I aim to give you as transparent an image of my life as possible, and I expect the same from you, whether or not you agree.
While leading a house church, I saw firsthand how quintessential authentic loving communities are to anyone. The closest thing I know to compare it to is our need to express our own sexuality. Everyone needs to interact with someone of the opposite sex and develop physical and emotional intimacy with someone else. Likewise, I discovered how many people lack community in their life, and what that meant for the expression of the good news of Jesus in their lives.
Shortly after the house church I led became a unified group devoted to loving one another and encouraging others in the direction God was taking them, people started getting saved and lives were being changed. What's crazier was that it was happening even without an "altar call" whatsoever. It was simply the power of the Holy Spirit manifesting in people's lives as their emotional and spiritual needs were being met, one of which being their sense of belonging and acceptance.
Since then, one thing I try to do in my efforts to disciple people is to network with multiple churches and then bring them together in ways each person's strengths can build off every one else's strengths, as well as spur someone on to a deeper relationship with Jesus. Typically, the community of believers that forms out of a hodge-podge of strangers astonishes everyone present.
Even though I understand the importance of community to anyone breathing, I am surprised at what God has been and is doing in me through my efforts to bring believers together as friends and individuals in something bigger than themselves. Never once did I envision that it could send me to France one day.
Right now, I am actively involved with two churches, but one more than the other. It's almost like I'm in transition between my home church, and this church plant I've been going to for two and a half months. Yet, I'm not. There is a delicate balance between total involvement in one church at the expense of abandoning another.
What's more, God recently showed me an old acquaintance whom is now leading the college ministry at a church I used to visit. If everything works out, I might get the chance to rekindle my relationship with yet another church, potentially giving me the ability to have three sending churches when I go to France in about a year.
In case I haven't been clear, I don't network with all these churches just to meet the strongest Christians in the bunch and then mash them together in whatever ministry machine I need to disciple whichever person I happen to be working with at any given moment. Nah, I'm earnestly trying to draw near to God in complete assurance of my own faith.
I don't worry about what people think of me when I go church-hopping, and in all honesty, I expect my personality and love for Jesus will result in my being accepted and welcomed into any church I visit. Every time I check out another church, I hold fast to the confession of my hope, knowing that he who promised is faithful.
Wherever I go, I do my best to spur others on to love and good works, but the thing I need to make sure I always do is not neglect to meet together, because that could very easily become a habit of mine because I am visiting with so many churches so frequently.
I have no idea what God's doing inside of you, but I know God's up to something bigger than me here, larger than life, something heavenly.
(And yes, in case you were wondering, I'm listening to worship music on Pandora right now, and Sanctus Real was playing as I concluded this entry).
Friday, July 11, 2014
Sweep out the dust
Floors attract dust. There's no getting around it. It happens. Each floor is different, and the mess that accumulates varies from room to room, depending on the type of floor and the foot traffic blazing trails atop it. Some floors sparkle--until the dog prances in from peeing in the rain--and other floors make fantastic skating rinks for sock-clad kids and kids at heart. In some places, the floor is covered in a ruffled carpet, slightly tinged with the stain of decaying skin cells and maybe the red Kool-Aid Rorshach that mom tried so hard to scrub out.
Whatever the floor, they need to be cleaned at some point or another. It's inevitable. It doesn't matter where you live, you will have to sweep the floor at least once before you die. If you're unfortunate enough to have to sweep carpet for lack of a vacuum, you might wish you would die, but nevertheless, it is possible to sweep dirt out of carpet.
But I digress.
Floors get pretty grody and the upkeep never ends. Sweeping is just one of those chores that never quits. It's not a hard job but it is continuous.
It's kind of like salvation.
Now, from my limited understanding of Biblical Greek after two semesters of it, I can tell you the word translated as "work out" is χατεργάζεσθε which if I am understanding it correctly, is second-person plural (present continuous) imperative. That means it's a command to y'all (directed at the Phillipians, and by extension us) to continue to work out where in our lives we need more Jesus. Simply put, salvation is a process that we have to keep working on.
But like with sweeping, we are useless on our own. Without a broom, all we're good for is kicking the dirt around (while simultaneously contributing to the mess with the scuff flaking off our feet).
Salvation is the same way, because we're powerless to accomplish it on our own--God is the one who sweeps the dust out of us.
That's just dandy, isn't it? If we sweep our floors, we can work out our salvation? It's as easy as that?
While it is an easy task, it's never a simple one, not if done properly.
Think about everything you have to sweep around and under if you don't want the floor to look like a disheveled wreck. I'm not talking about moving the couch or disassembling the entire room to scour every corner, but Lord knows your garage or living room probably needs it. I'm just talking about the mundane sweeping we should do regularly.
It can be difficult to reach into those tight corners or squeeze the bristles under the toekick to coax out the crusty Cheerio the family pooch neglected to find. Likewise, it's not always easy to let God have access to every filthy crevice or grimy mound inside ourselves. We might know these areas need cleaning, but we're hesitant to go to that much trouble.
Let's say you go to the trouble of fishing the dirt out into the open. Have you ever tried to sweep it into a pile before introducing it to the dustpan, only to have a rogue power cord get in the way? One of the most annoying things I find is having to lift power cords and wires to sweep a pile of dirt under and away from them. Sometimes, we let God work on us, but maybe we let circumstances get in the way, or perhaps it's our own pride or emotions.
But really, sweeping isn't so bad. It's easy enough a kid can do it, and frankly, it's more like dancing than dust-collecting. The reward is so worth it, the rejuvenated life a swept floor can bring to a room. If nothing else, a swept floor just feels more liveable, friendlier even.
If we think of working out our salvation the same way, the joy it will bring far outperforms the mere act of sweeping. All we have to do is let God work on us, and worship him for what he's doing as he does it, and keep it up. It's pretty simple, really.
That's kind of where I'm at right now in my life. I'm about a year out from getting my Masters of Divinity and after that, I'm looking forward to going to France as a church planter; I already have a job offer to do just that, and I can see God orchestrated everything. In the meantime, I'm working to prepare myself for the adventure ahead of me, trying to clean out all the spots of my life I've tracked dirt into over the years. Bad habits, insecurities, and communication problems just always seem to sneak in but I'm not worried about any of it. I like sweeping, but sweeping me isn't my job, so I'm just going to step back so God can get those hard-to-reach parts of me.
Whatever the floor, they need to be cleaned at some point or another. It's inevitable. It doesn't matter where you live, you will have to sweep the floor at least once before you die. If you're unfortunate enough to have to sweep carpet for lack of a vacuum, you might wish you would die, but nevertheless, it is possible to sweep dirt out of carpet.
But I digress.
Floors get pretty grody and the upkeep never ends. Sweeping is just one of those chores that never quits. It's not a hard job but it is continuous.
It's kind of like salvation.
Now, from my limited understanding of Biblical Greek after two semesters of it, I can tell you the word translated as "work out" is χατεργάζεσθε which if I am understanding it correctly, is second-person plural (present continuous) imperative. That means it's a command to y'all (directed at the Phillipians, and by extension us) to continue to work out where in our lives we need more Jesus. Simply put, salvation is a process that we have to keep working on.
But like with sweeping, we are useless on our own. Without a broom, all we're good for is kicking the dirt around (while simultaneously contributing to the mess with the scuff flaking off our feet).
Salvation is the same way, because we're powerless to accomplish it on our own--God is the one who sweeps the dust out of us.
That's just dandy, isn't it? If we sweep our floors, we can work out our salvation? It's as easy as that?
While it is an easy task, it's never a simple one, not if done properly.
Think about everything you have to sweep around and under if you don't want the floor to look like a disheveled wreck. I'm not talking about moving the couch or disassembling the entire room to scour every corner, but Lord knows your garage or living room probably needs it. I'm just talking about the mundane sweeping we should do regularly.
It can be difficult to reach into those tight corners or squeeze the bristles under the toekick to coax out the crusty Cheerio the family pooch neglected to find. Likewise, it's not always easy to let God have access to every filthy crevice or grimy mound inside ourselves. We might know these areas need cleaning, but we're hesitant to go to that much trouble.
Let's say you go to the trouble of fishing the dirt out into the open. Have you ever tried to sweep it into a pile before introducing it to the dustpan, only to have a rogue power cord get in the way? One of the most annoying things I find is having to lift power cords and wires to sweep a pile of dirt under and away from them. Sometimes, we let God work on us, but maybe we let circumstances get in the way, or perhaps it's our own pride or emotions.
But really, sweeping isn't so bad. It's easy enough a kid can do it, and frankly, it's more like dancing than dust-collecting. The reward is so worth it, the rejuvenated life a swept floor can bring to a room. If nothing else, a swept floor just feels more liveable, friendlier even.
If we think of working out our salvation the same way, the joy it will bring far outperforms the mere act of sweeping. All we have to do is let God work on us, and worship him for what he's doing as he does it, and keep it up. It's pretty simple, really.
That's kind of where I'm at right now in my life. I'm about a year out from getting my Masters of Divinity and after that, I'm looking forward to going to France as a church planter; I already have a job offer to do just that, and I can see God orchestrated everything. In the meantime, I'm working to prepare myself for the adventure ahead of me, trying to clean out all the spots of my life I've tracked dirt into over the years. Bad habits, insecurities, and communication problems just always seem to sneak in but I'm not worried about any of it. I like sweeping, but sweeping me isn't my job, so I'm just going to step back so God can get those hard-to-reach parts of me.
Friday, February 1, 2013
I spy with my little eye
I spy with my little eye something holy.
Don't see it?
Look again.
I'm not talking about your favorite sock, the one your pinkie toe pokes out of. I'm talking about the creator of your pinkie toe.
Yeah, God reminds me a lot of those I Spy books. He's there with us wherever we go, whether we're sinning or singing praises to him. We just have to look for him. He's there, even if hidden in plain sight.
I feel like a lot of people compare God to Waldo from those Where's Waldo books, but I'd like to assert that comparison is incorrect. God doesn't go with you all over the world so he can randomly wander off into the crowd. God is interested in you, and he's going to stick with you at your side. In some cases, he'll stick with you like a bodyguard, protecting you from danger but most of the time he is more like the friend you've known since childhood sitting next to you on the roller coaster.
If God is with us, why doesn't he just show himself? Basically, he doesn't want to overwhelm us. What I mean is, he's just that awesome--but that's another blog post.
Think about your own life for a second.
Since I can't describe your life in detail, let me use mine as an example. I was born on July 20, 1989 in a flat tourist town in Virginia. It's hard to say how being born an eighties-baby helped me find God in my life, although looking back, I can say it gave me the ability to relate to people a few years younger and older than me in all the ministries I lead now. As for the location I live in, God definitely put me here for a purpose. For starters, if I lived in another part of the state, the endless hills would wreak havoc on my ability to get around; I use gloves to get around in my wheelchair, and climbing up hills before coasting down them shreds wheelchair gloves like you wouldn't believe. Also, because I'm in a tourist town, I've been able to maintain my fluency in French pretty easily because every summer tons of Canadians and Europeans flock to my area on vacation. It is worth saying, French is one of my passions and I plan on being a church planter in France one day. God must have orchestrated that.
Back on topic, God placed you where you are for a specific reason. You were born at the time and place you were because God has a purpose for you. Everything that has happened in your life has been for one simple purpose, to draw you closer to God; you are unique and you are beautiful because of your uniqueness. You are the sum total of the choices you've made, and God placed you right where he wanted you so you could choose to seek him, even though he's right there with you.
Don't believe me? Try listing twenty things you're thankful for, and then try to figure out where they came from and why they happened that way. What about all the times you just barely made it through some situation that seemed insurmountable? Wasn't it God who got you through it? Think about it for a while, you'll be surprised.
One of the ways I often help people in their faith is to find where God is at in their lives. I help my mom see him in her failing marriage, and I help my girlfriend recognize God's presence in her life. I can only show people where God is in their life because I spend my life studying my own, thanking God every time I see him bless me or answer a prayer or even teach me something new and insightful.
I spy with my little eye something that cannot be explained by natural phenomena.
Don't see it?
Look again.
I'm not talking about your favorite sock, the one your pinkie toe pokes out of. I'm talking about the creator of your pinkie toe.
I feel like a lot of people compare God to Waldo from those Where's Waldo books, but I'd like to assert that comparison is incorrect. God doesn't go with you all over the world so he can randomly wander off into the crowd. God is interested in you, and he's going to stick with you at your side. In some cases, he'll stick with you like a bodyguard, protecting you from danger but most of the time he is more like the friend you've known since childhood sitting next to you on the roller coaster.
If God is with us, why doesn't he just show himself? Basically, he doesn't want to overwhelm us. What I mean is, he's just that awesome--but that's another blog post.
Think about your own life for a second.
Since I can't describe your life in detail, let me use mine as an example. I was born on July 20, 1989 in a flat tourist town in Virginia. It's hard to say how being born an eighties-baby helped me find God in my life, although looking back, I can say it gave me the ability to relate to people a few years younger and older than me in all the ministries I lead now. As for the location I live in, God definitely put me here for a purpose. For starters, if I lived in another part of the state, the endless hills would wreak havoc on my ability to get around; I use gloves to get around in my wheelchair, and climbing up hills before coasting down them shreds wheelchair gloves like you wouldn't believe. Also, because I'm in a tourist town, I've been able to maintain my fluency in French pretty easily because every summer tons of Canadians and Europeans flock to my area on vacation. It is worth saying, French is one of my passions and I plan on being a church planter in France one day. God must have orchestrated that.
Back on topic, God placed you where you are for a specific reason. You were born at the time and place you were because God has a purpose for you. Everything that has happened in your life has been for one simple purpose, to draw you closer to God; you are unique and you are beautiful because of your uniqueness. You are the sum total of the choices you've made, and God placed you right where he wanted you so you could choose to seek him, even though he's right there with you.
Don't believe me? Try listing twenty things you're thankful for, and then try to figure out where they came from and why they happened that way. What about all the times you just barely made it through some situation that seemed insurmountable? Wasn't it God who got you through it? Think about it for a while, you'll be surprised.
One of the ways I often help people in their faith is to find where God is at in their lives. I help my mom see him in her failing marriage, and I help my girlfriend recognize God's presence in her life. I can only show people where God is in their life because I spend my life studying my own, thanking God every time I see him bless me or answer a prayer or even teach me something new and insightful.
I spy with my little eye something that cannot be explained by natural phenomena.
Friday, June 22, 2012
I Hate Morals
I'm going on a mission trip tomorrow, and I think the excitement is getting to me. I just woke up from a nap, and found my phone in hand, open to my note-taking aapplication. I've texted in my sleep before and once upon a time, I've written crazy stuff in my sleep, but I've never used my phone to write stuff in my sleep before. Here's what I wrote during my morning nap a few minutes ago.
I hate morals.
Morals to me sound like more rules.
I want freedom.
I want to be me.
Christ set me free.
Now I live to be me,
The made-in-his-image me.
To God be the glory.
Let him have the scary stuff,
Like finding my way, and putting food on my plate.
I'll be okay.
If my life fits your moral standard
Then it doesn't mean moralism makes it right.
It means you are precious in his sight.
Set aside your petty morality,
Your false spirituality
And embrace servility
The ultimate in humility.
Discard your futility,
Your perfection is not an ability.
I'll probably think about it some more and add to it soon, and once I wake up, I'll find some verses that fit each line of the poem.
I hate morals.
Morals to me sound like more rules.
I want freedom.
I want to be me.
Christ set me free.
Now I live to be me,
The made-in-his-image me.
To God be the glory.
Let him have the scary stuff,
Like finding my way, and putting food on my plate.
I'll be okay.
If my life fits your moral standard
Then it doesn't mean moralism makes it right.
It means you are precious in his sight.
Set aside your petty morality,
Your false spirituality
And embrace servility
The ultimate in humility.
Discard your futility,
Your perfection is not an ability.
I'll probably think about it some more and add to it soon, and once I wake up, I'll find some verses that fit each line of the poem.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Male and Female He Created Them
Just recently, I've heard a lot of talk about what it means to be a biblical man or woman. I'm not sure that I'm seeing a lack of understanding on the topic or if God wants me to clarify my thoughts on the matter. Either way, I woke up this morning an hour earlier than I wanted to and had a fully-written blog entry running through my head.
So what does it mean to be a biblical man or woman, ie a man or woman after God's own heart? It's a little different for men and women, but not as different as people often think.
My basis for such a statement? There is neither male nor female, slave nor free, Jew nor Greek because we are all one in Jesus.
As a body of believers, we all work together in unison for the same ultimate goal, the glorification of Jesus as Lord and the encouraging of one another in the hope we have. Because each of us represent just one part of the body, we all have different purposes in life.
It is true men and women think differently from each other. Men tend to be very structured, organized, and compartmentalized when it comes to their thoughts and emotions. Women tend to be all over the place, making them better at multitasking and building relationships. These gender-specific features coincide with the biblical roles men and women play.
Beautiful women are a blessing to behold. A woman's beauty should not come from her make up or how she did her hair, but from a gentle, quiet spirit.
As for that whole "submit" thing Christian men throw around, it's the same verb used to describe our relationship to God. I lent my concordance to someone so I cannot find the other references to show you this, but I have done the research in the past and know it to be true. So, "wives, submit yourselves to your husbands" as the bible tells us in Ephesians and 1 Peter among other places, it shouldn't be hard for a God-fearing woman to do if her husband is submitting himself to the Lord. In that case, both husband and wife will be of like mind anyways, so there really shouldn't be any actual submitting needed. If anything, the act of a wife submitting to her husband is her humbling herself so Jesus is glorified by both of them.
That's not to say that a woman needs to be complacent when her husband is leading the family in a direction far from where God is.
While we're on the topic of the woman's role in husband-wife relations, let me point out the incredible worth women have. Lots of Christians think women are supposed to be in the kitchen all the time, just popping out babies for their hubby. I call bull dung.
In the time Genesis was written, women were treated like dirt. Back then, their worth was nothing more than the potential for an economic agreement with another family. They really didn't have much of a place in society. Yet, when Jacob's wife Rachel wanted to name their second son Ben-Oni, meaning "son of my trouble" because she was about to die from giving birth, Jacob stepped in and said the child was to be named Benjamin, meaning "son of my right hand." Let me put things in perspective.
In this culture, the right hand was the hand with which you did your work. Your left hand was considered filthy, unclean, and vulgar because back then, they didn't have Charmin Ultra Soft. This places even more significance on the right hand. In fact, in biblical times as is still true today, if a person is said to be your right hand, it means they have the utmost importance in your life, that you value them more than all others, that they are indispensable to your very existence. For a king to seat someone at his right hand means that this person is the king's most trusted adviser; it is the highest honor a king can bestow on anyone short of handing over the throne.
For Jacob, that was Rachel.
Additionally, he who finds a wife finds what is good and a prudent wife is from the Lord.
The wife of noble character is the role model for many women, and for good reason. Proverbs 31 describes in wonderful detail how much of a servant's heart this woman has, how her relationships bring honor and praise to her family and husband, and how her family is well-taken-care-of. Earthly women might try to charm people to get what they want, or make themselves more beautiful, but really, the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
In much the same way, men are a source of strength for their wives. It is their job to provide clothing and shelter for their wives, and to love them as the Lord loves us. That means, for those of you not familiar with the extent of God's love for us, it is the husbands job to humble himself to his wife so that in all he does, he can serve her. He needs to be willing to sacrifice his wants and desires for hers, and see that in the end, she is praised more than he.
Outside the context of marriage, because not all us dudes are married or dating anyone, the idea is that dudes (like women) need to submit themselves wholly to the Lord. I think King David summed it up best on his deathbed when he swore his son Solomon in as king: Be strong, show yourself a man, and observe what the Lord your God requires; walk in his ways and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and requirements so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.
Let's go deeper. What does the Lord require? To act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. The greatest commandment is this, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and will all your soul and to love your neighbor as yourself.
Forget that stupid machoism garbage. This is what a real man looks like.
I want to reiterate though that this separation between men and women does not exist in God's kingdom. God through the prophet Joel, in a prophecy about the coming of the Lord, stated "I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions. Even on my servants both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days."
Praise God.
So what does it mean to be a biblical man or woman, ie a man or woman after God's own heart? It's a little different for men and women, but not as different as people often think.
My basis for such a statement? There is neither male nor female, slave nor free, Jew nor Greek because we are all one in Jesus.
As a body of believers, we all work together in unison for the same ultimate goal, the glorification of Jesus as Lord and the encouraging of one another in the hope we have. Because each of us represent just one part of the body, we all have different purposes in life.
It is true men and women think differently from each other. Men tend to be very structured, organized, and compartmentalized when it comes to their thoughts and emotions. Women tend to be all over the place, making them better at multitasking and building relationships. These gender-specific features coincide with the biblical roles men and women play.
Beautiful women are a blessing to behold. A woman's beauty should not come from her make up or how she did her hair, but from a gentle, quiet spirit.
As for that whole "submit" thing Christian men throw around, it's the same verb used to describe our relationship to God. I lent my concordance to someone so I cannot find the other references to show you this, but I have done the research in the past and know it to be true. So, "wives, submit yourselves to your husbands" as the bible tells us in Ephesians and 1 Peter among other places, it shouldn't be hard for a God-fearing woman to do if her husband is submitting himself to the Lord. In that case, both husband and wife will be of like mind anyways, so there really shouldn't be any actual submitting needed. If anything, the act of a wife submitting to her husband is her humbling herself so Jesus is glorified by both of them.
That's not to say that a woman needs to be complacent when her husband is leading the family in a direction far from where God is.
While we're on the topic of the woman's role in husband-wife relations, let me point out the incredible worth women have. Lots of Christians think women are supposed to be in the kitchen all the time, just popping out babies for their hubby. I call bull dung.
In the time Genesis was written, women were treated like dirt. Back then, their worth was nothing more than the potential for an economic agreement with another family. They really didn't have much of a place in society. Yet, when Jacob's wife Rachel wanted to name their second son Ben-Oni, meaning "son of my trouble" because she was about to die from giving birth, Jacob stepped in and said the child was to be named Benjamin, meaning "son of my right hand." Let me put things in perspective.
In this culture, the right hand was the hand with which you did your work. Your left hand was considered filthy, unclean, and vulgar because back then, they didn't have Charmin Ultra Soft. This places even more significance on the right hand. In fact, in biblical times as is still true today, if a person is said to be your right hand, it means they have the utmost importance in your life, that you value them more than all others, that they are indispensable to your very existence. For a king to seat someone at his right hand means that this person is the king's most trusted adviser; it is the highest honor a king can bestow on anyone short of handing over the throne.
For Jacob, that was Rachel.
Additionally, he who finds a wife finds what is good and a prudent wife is from the Lord.
The wife of noble character is the role model for many women, and for good reason. Proverbs 31 describes in wonderful detail how much of a servant's heart this woman has, how her relationships bring honor and praise to her family and husband, and how her family is well-taken-care-of. Earthly women might try to charm people to get what they want, or make themselves more beautiful, but really, the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
In much the same way, men are a source of strength for their wives. It is their job to provide clothing and shelter for their wives, and to love them as the Lord loves us. That means, for those of you not familiar with the extent of God's love for us, it is the husbands job to humble himself to his wife so that in all he does, he can serve her. He needs to be willing to sacrifice his wants and desires for hers, and see that in the end, she is praised more than he.
Outside the context of marriage, because not all us dudes are married or dating anyone, the idea is that dudes (like women) need to submit themselves wholly to the Lord. I think King David summed it up best on his deathbed when he swore his son Solomon in as king: Be strong, show yourself a man, and observe what the Lord your God requires; walk in his ways and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and requirements so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.
Let's go deeper. What does the Lord require? To act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. The greatest commandment is this, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and will all your soul and to love your neighbor as yourself.
Forget that stupid machoism garbage. This is what a real man looks like.
I want to reiterate though that this separation between men and women does not exist in God's kingdom. God through the prophet Joel, in a prophecy about the coming of the Lord, stated "I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions. Even on my servants both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days."
Praise God.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Wait for it, wait for it, bam, daylight savings time
God has made a few promises in his day. Among them is the idea that God's not done working on us yet, that our best days are ahead of us.
While I know this one in particular to be true from past experience, some days I question how long a promise like that could take. Family struggles, girl problems, and too many people in need of encouragement can plant the seeds of anxiety, impatience and restlessness. Even though these issues are trivial in light of all that God is capable of, eventually I wear down and begin to question God, not doubt per se but question.
It sucks to feel like that immediately after witnessing entire days, weeks, a month of God's blessings and power at work in our lives. I'm human. It happens.
I think some of Jesus's followers went through that in the moments before Jesus ascended to heaven. Imagine that.
In the climax of all that had happened until then, God intervened in the lives of every human being out there. By the power of God, Jesus walked with the living forty days after his expiration date. God blessed Jesus with awesome ninja abilities when he entered a locked house. It was a miracle Thomas didn't spew his guts when Jesus got him to poke a finger through his hands. Don't forget the 153 fish God jammed in Peter's net the instant Jesus wanted some noms. God worked so much through Jesus, they couldn't write it all down!
And yet, his followers still wondered how much longer it would be before one of God's promised blessings would come.
Advising his followers not to leave Jerusalem, Jesus said, "Hey, kick it here for a while, until yo Daddy gives you what he promised, that Holy Spirit yo."
That's when they asked if at that time, God would restore the kingdom to Israel, like in the old days.
To put it in context, this was a big deal for the Jewish people. The reestablishment of the kingdom of Israel meant the restoration of justice to the people of God. It meant they would no longer suffer the oppression of a foreign power ruling over them, as was the case during that time with the Romans. It meant a return to a time when God's people had power among the nations.
Since the exile, the Jews had waited a long time to see God fulfill that promise.
We don't know what Jesus sounded like when he andswered, but we know he said, "Chill out, it's neither here nor there, it'll happen in God's time."
He also pointed something interesting out.
"Dawg, when it happens, it'll be crazy! Y'all gonna receive power when that Holy Spirit comes and dang yo, you gonna go and be singin' my song to every nation!"
As the chosen people of God, believers who receive the Holy Spirit, are going to live in God's kingdom, while still living here on this earth. As Paul puts it, "our citizenship is in heaven," which means believers do not belong to any earthly nation or people. They are unique, set apart for God and his work.
But, with the coming of the Holy Spirit, God's people will receive power to go out among the nations. As representatives of the Kingdom, it's as if the Holy Spirit is Jesus's answer to when and how the kingdom of Israel (ie the kingdom of the people of God) would be restored to its former and future glory!
Don't let any promises God made that you think are not yet fulfilled stop you from living the kingdom dream. Maybe you just aren't aware of how God is working in that part of your life, for the God we serve is not a God of broken promises.
While I know this one in particular to be true from past experience, some days I question how long a promise like that could take. Family struggles, girl problems, and too many people in need of encouragement can plant the seeds of anxiety, impatience and restlessness. Even though these issues are trivial in light of all that God is capable of, eventually I wear down and begin to question God, not doubt per se but question.
It sucks to feel like that immediately after witnessing entire days, weeks, a month of God's blessings and power at work in our lives. I'm human. It happens.
I think some of Jesus's followers went through that in the moments before Jesus ascended to heaven. Imagine that.
In the climax of all that had happened until then, God intervened in the lives of every human being out there. By the power of God, Jesus walked with the living forty days after his expiration date. God blessed Jesus with awesome ninja abilities when he entered a locked house. It was a miracle Thomas didn't spew his guts when Jesus got him to poke a finger through his hands. Don't forget the 153 fish God jammed in Peter's net the instant Jesus wanted some noms. God worked so much through Jesus, they couldn't write it all down!
And yet, his followers still wondered how much longer it would be before one of God's promised blessings would come.
Advising his followers not to leave Jerusalem, Jesus said, "Hey, kick it here for a while, until yo Daddy gives you what he promised, that Holy Spirit yo."
That's when they asked if at that time, God would restore the kingdom to Israel, like in the old days.
To put it in context, this was a big deal for the Jewish people. The reestablishment of the kingdom of Israel meant the restoration of justice to the people of God. It meant they would no longer suffer the oppression of a foreign power ruling over them, as was the case during that time with the Romans. It meant a return to a time when God's people had power among the nations.
Since the exile, the Jews had waited a long time to see God fulfill that promise.
We don't know what Jesus sounded like when he andswered, but we know he said, "Chill out, it's neither here nor there, it'll happen in God's time."
He also pointed something interesting out.
"Dawg, when it happens, it'll be crazy! Y'all gonna receive power when that Holy Spirit comes and dang yo, you gonna go and be singin' my song to every nation!"
As the chosen people of God, believers who receive the Holy Spirit, are going to live in God's kingdom, while still living here on this earth. As Paul puts it, "our citizenship is in heaven," which means believers do not belong to any earthly nation or people. They are unique, set apart for God and his work.
But, with the coming of the Holy Spirit, God's people will receive power to go out among the nations. As representatives of the Kingdom, it's as if the Holy Spirit is Jesus's answer to when and how the kingdom of Israel (ie the kingdom of the people of God) would be restored to its former and future glory!
Don't let any promises God made that you think are not yet fulfilled stop you from living the kingdom dream. Maybe you just aren't aware of how God is working in that part of your life, for the God we serve is not a God of broken promises.
Monday, February 13, 2012
A Large Hot Chocolate on a Cold Day
This past week has been unusually cold, considering the warm spell that came before it. It went from being in the fifties every day to the thirties in almost a week. Each of the last few mornings, it's been below freezing, cold enough to merit a trek to the local cafe for their hot chocolate. I've joked with my coworkers that this cold has taught me to roll my wheelchair one-handed, so I can hold my cup without it spilling.
As I sip another taste of the steamy froth, I praise God for the things he's done. Just recently, I've been praying hard about some stuff; the result, I feel refreshed, and warmed up. Prayer is like that, actually. In this cold, frigid world we live in, prayer is the hot chocolate that warms our soul.
Yeah, I admit, I'll pray for healing over something as trivial as a cold. Prayer and hot chocolate can do wonders for a cold. Except with the snotty colds, hot chocolate soothes the throat and sinuses, and for the most part, it relieves cold symptoms. The prayer offered up in faith can do that too, sometimes getting rid of the cold entirely.
I drink hot chocolate for more than colds though. Hot chocolate is good for so much more than just the occasional sick day. A hot chocolate between friends brings them closer, chinking their spoons against the sides of the mugs and sipping pensively. The time it takes for the hot chocolate to drain out of a ceramic mug is the same amount of time needed for a healthy conversation, or for one friend to encourage the other in taking the next step. Prayer gives us that intimacy with God.
Get a large hot chocolate with no marshmallows or whipped cream often enough, and people will begin to recognize you as a hot chocolate drinker. This morning, the barista with the wavy blond hair, she guessed how I wanted my drink made from the hot chocolates I drank in the past. The fact is, I love me some hot chocolate on cold mornings. I don't get it often enough, but man, when I do, it's worth it.
Likewise, I know I don't pray as often as I would like. When I do however, I no longer shudder in the world's icy gale. While they may not know what, people can see it if you're getting your morning prayer in. With a large hot chocolate, there's a tangible cup in the cardboard cup holder you carry; people might wonder whether it's a coffee or a cappuccino you're drinking, but regardless, they know you're drinking something. With prayer, they wonder what you're drinking when they see the peace of God in the way you carry yourself.
Through a large hot chocolate, you have the ability to strike up a conversation with anyone else holding a hot beverage. There is a subtle bond between two people mulling over the steam escaping the plastic sippy-lid, one that wouldn't exist had you not bought a large hot chocolate that morning. Without prayer, so many things are impossible in our lives, but through a single act of prayer God does the impossible.
Finishing a large hot chocolate is always the hardest part. It's not that I can't drink the whole thing, it's that when I come to the last dregs of my cup, I begin to crave more, longing for the contentment to linger a moment more.
Fortunately, prayer leaves my thirst satisfied.
As I sip another taste of the steamy froth, I praise God for the things he's done. Just recently, I've been praying hard about some stuff; the result, I feel refreshed, and warmed up. Prayer is like that, actually. In this cold, frigid world we live in, prayer is the hot chocolate that warms our soul.
Yeah, I admit, I'll pray for healing over something as trivial as a cold. Prayer and hot chocolate can do wonders for a cold. Except with the snotty colds, hot chocolate soothes the throat and sinuses, and for the most part, it relieves cold symptoms. The prayer offered up in faith can do that too, sometimes getting rid of the cold entirely.
I drink hot chocolate for more than colds though. Hot chocolate is good for so much more than just the occasional sick day. A hot chocolate between friends brings them closer, chinking their spoons against the sides of the mugs and sipping pensively. The time it takes for the hot chocolate to drain out of a ceramic mug is the same amount of time needed for a healthy conversation, or for one friend to encourage the other in taking the next step. Prayer gives us that intimacy with God.
Get a large hot chocolate with no marshmallows or whipped cream often enough, and people will begin to recognize you as a hot chocolate drinker. This morning, the barista with the wavy blond hair, she guessed how I wanted my drink made from the hot chocolates I drank in the past. The fact is, I love me some hot chocolate on cold mornings. I don't get it often enough, but man, when I do, it's worth it.
Likewise, I know I don't pray as often as I would like. When I do however, I no longer shudder in the world's icy gale. While they may not know what, people can see it if you're getting your morning prayer in. With a large hot chocolate, there's a tangible cup in the cardboard cup holder you carry; people might wonder whether it's a coffee or a cappuccino you're drinking, but regardless, they know you're drinking something. With prayer, they wonder what you're drinking when they see the peace of God in the way you carry yourself.
Through a large hot chocolate, you have the ability to strike up a conversation with anyone else holding a hot beverage. There is a subtle bond between two people mulling over the steam escaping the plastic sippy-lid, one that wouldn't exist had you not bought a large hot chocolate that morning. Without prayer, so many things are impossible in our lives, but through a single act of prayer God does the impossible.
Finishing a large hot chocolate is always the hardest part. It's not that I can't drink the whole thing, it's that when I come to the last dregs of my cup, I begin to crave more, longing for the contentment to linger a moment more.
Fortunately, prayer leaves my thirst satisfied.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
You did not come to know Christ that way
One little verse in Ephesians spoke to me today.
You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. ~Ephesians 4:20
Okay, so, what?
What is it about these nine words that brought me to my knees?
For starters, Ephesians was written to the believers in the area more or less around Ephesus, sort of as a general lesson for the numerous early churches near Ephesus. The absence of any personal greetings from Paul shows it's really not written to anyone in specific, other than to believers in Jesus as the promised savior of God. While Paul did not have me in consideration at all when he wrote this letter, as a believer in Jesus Christ, the letter invites me to apply its teachings to my life.
The reason I feel the need to explain myself here is the very first word of Ephesians 4:20, "You." If the letter is addressed to Christians, I need to pay attention.
The second word, "however," separates the intended audience from some other group of people. Something about Christians is different than with everyone else.
To find out what is different, I read the rest of the sentence.
You, however, did not come to know Jesus that way. ~Ephesians 4:20
There's an prepositional phrase at the end of the sentence that changes the way the verbs in the sentence work. The sentence now either means everyone knows Jesus and has a personal relationship with him, or that one way of life does not lead to a personal relationship with Jesus while another does.
Because the whole world is not saved by faith in Jesus, I wondered what way did not lead to knowing Jesus.
The paragraph prior to verse 20 sheds some light on what way Paul is talking about.
Paul states Christians must not live in the futility of worldly thinking, that a life spent resisting God's truths can only lead to a lack of understanding. Those who harden their hearts to God submit to their passions and desires, craving progressively more depraved and sinful behavior.
So, now Ephesians 4:20 makes a little more sense.
You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. ~Ephesians 4:20
Still, the verse brings up the question of how believers actually come to know Jesus Christ.
Verses 21 through 24 begin to illustrate the process.
Believers first hear about the truth of Jesus little by little throughout their lives. At some point, they accept these teachings and learn to leave behind their old self in exchange for who they could be in Jesus, and from then on, they live a new life devoted to God as best they can.
I think this verse really spoke to me because I caught myself wishing I led a playboy life. Part of me yearned to have my sensual desires satisfied, however, I did not come to know Christ that way.
In my struggle, I wanted a right relationship with God more than sex.
God is so worth the wait.
You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. ~Ephesians 4:20
Okay, so, what?
What is it about these nine words that brought me to my knees?
For starters, Ephesians was written to the believers in the area more or less around Ephesus, sort of as a general lesson for the numerous early churches near Ephesus. The absence of any personal greetings from Paul shows it's really not written to anyone in specific, other than to believers in Jesus as the promised savior of God. While Paul did not have me in consideration at all when he wrote this letter, as a believer in Jesus Christ, the letter invites me to apply its teachings to my life.
The reason I feel the need to explain myself here is the very first word of Ephesians 4:20, "You." If the letter is addressed to Christians, I need to pay attention.
The second word, "however," separates the intended audience from some other group of people. Something about Christians is different than with everyone else.
To find out what is different, I read the rest of the sentence.
You, however, did not come to know Jesus that way. ~Ephesians 4:20
There's an prepositional phrase at the end of the sentence that changes the way the verbs in the sentence work. The sentence now either means everyone knows Jesus and has a personal relationship with him, or that one way of life does not lead to a personal relationship with Jesus while another does.
Because the whole world is not saved by faith in Jesus, I wondered what way did not lead to knowing Jesus.
The paragraph prior to verse 20 sheds some light on what way Paul is talking about.
Paul states Christians must not live in the futility of worldly thinking, that a life spent resisting God's truths can only lead to a lack of understanding. Those who harden their hearts to God submit to their passions and desires, craving progressively more depraved and sinful behavior.
So, now Ephesians 4:20 makes a little more sense.
You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. ~Ephesians 4:20
Still, the verse brings up the question of how believers actually come to know Jesus Christ.
Verses 21 through 24 begin to illustrate the process.
Believers first hear about the truth of Jesus little by little throughout their lives. At some point, they accept these teachings and learn to leave behind their old self in exchange for who they could be in Jesus, and from then on, they live a new life devoted to God as best they can.
I think this verse really spoke to me because I caught myself wishing I led a playboy life. Part of me yearned to have my sensual desires satisfied, however, I did not come to know Christ that way.
In my struggle, I wanted a right relationship with God more than sex.
God is so worth the wait.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Grumpy Morning With God
6:00 this morning, I was lacing up my shoes with my bag packed for school already. I was excited because I'm seldom ready before 6:20, and after a week of nearly being late, I was finally going to be ready to leave before my dad. Good thing, too
I wanted to be at school early today because I'm doing a bible study on 1 Samuel at 7am.
I pocketed my cell phone, and reached for my wheelchair gloves. They weren't there.
Why weren't they on the back of the couch like always? I purposefully leave them there every night so I don't lose them.
Not having my gloves is like not having my shoes, only worse. I don't eat with my feet when they're black with grime.
Where were they? Last night, I got home and I peeled them off my hands in front of my bed. Because I'd been exhausted, I threw them on the center of the bed, next to the blue-with-white-polka-dots body pillow I sleep with.
I never took them off my bed when I cleaned it off last night.
I must've slept on them all night.
Bull.
"God, help me find them, please," I said under my breath, jerking at the blankets.
"Maybe you left them in the car."
"That's not posssible, I know I threw them on the bed last night. I can picture them right there."
"It couldn't hurt to go look on the floor of the car."
"THEY ARE NOT IN THE CAR. THEY WERE ON MY BED. I PROBABLY KNOCKED THEM UNDERNEATH THE BED, OFF EITHER SIDE."
Heaving my couch sideways, I poked my head under the bed. Lots of dust, and oh, hey, my headphones. I was wondering where they went.
"Why would your wheelchair gloves be under your couch? Get your coat on so you can go check the car. It's a little cold out."
I picked up my white jacket, sliding it onto my shoulders. "What if they got stuck in the blanket--or the pillows? Maybe they're in one of the pillowcases???"
After a quick ruffling of the covers, I caught sight of the clock. 6:22. I was running out of time. Any minute now, my dad would call up the stairs to see if I was ready to walk out the door yet. Delay more than that, and I'd be late to the bible study--I don't have Andrew's number, how am I going to tell him I'm going to be late? What if he goes somewhere else in Webb and I have to look for him? Ugh, so much for being early.
"I can't go to school without my gloves." I told myself; my dad would have to wait for me to find them. Funnily enough, he hadn't noticed the time yet.
"God, help me calm down and retrace my steps. They're here somewhere."
"You never checked the car."
"Whatever. I don't see them. I'm just going to make do. I've got old gloves lying around. They'll work. Between all my old ones, I've got a decent right and left." Thus began the process of cluttering my room more, as progressively older gloves flew around. "God, show me which glove to grab, which one is in best condition. It's 6:30, God, please. Don't make me go without gloves."
"Praise God in all circumstances. It's in Thessalonians."
"Okay God, thanks for giving me old pairs of gloves I could wear when I need them," I sighed, "I'm gonna find those gloves this afternoon. No doubt."
Trey woke up and opened his door, wearing basketball shorts and his green Dicks Sporting Goods shirt. "Hey man, wha's up?"
"Eh, lost my wheelchair gloves. I think I slept on them. No idea where I kicked them."
"It's all good man, are these the ones?" he handed me an old ragged pair I had tossed somewhere.
"No, but I'll take them," I rammed them into my coat pocket. "See ya man."
"Have a good day man!" Trey said.
"I'll try. No wheelchair gloves, remember?"
"No, there is no try, there is only do!"
"Ok, Yoda."
I slumped downstairs and told my dad I was ready. Walking to the car, I dropped my backpack in the backseat, and started fumbling in the bag for the almost finished wheelchair glove I'd been sewing the past few days. Even it if ended up looking bad, I was going to finish that one yellow glove in the pale on-off light of the streets lights still on and the rising sun somewhere behind me.
"Check the floor for your gloves."
Feeling around at my feet, before buckling up, I found them on top of the floormat. There they were!
I pulled the old grungy gloves out of my coat pocket, and something dawned on me. The whole morning, I'd been angry because I couldn't find my gloves and was prepared to settle for this cruddy, worn-to-nothing no-good pair of gloves instead of the new, perfect, awesome gloves God had in store for me.
We don't always remember how much God cares for us, how he knows our needs, and he provides them. Before we were born, God knew us, and he'd already planned the life we could live to glorify him most. He's never going to let us down.
God spoke to me this morning, and it took me losing my ability to roll properly for me to hear it. God wants to clothe us in a new robe and call us by name, if we will just hear what He has to say.
I couldn't believe I had let something as trivial as a pair of gloves get in the way of my walk with God. Lost gloves did not affect my salvation, and I would survive without them if I had to. God knew my needs, and he answered my prayer this morning. All I had to do was listen.
I texted Trey that I found them in the car, and his answer was right, coming from him and in some ways, coming from God: "Haha I told you! About the good day that is!"
I wanted to be at school early today because I'm doing a bible study on 1 Samuel at 7am.
I pocketed my cell phone, and reached for my wheelchair gloves. They weren't there.
Why weren't they on the back of the couch like always? I purposefully leave them there every night so I don't lose them.
Not having my gloves is like not having my shoes, only worse. I don't eat with my feet when they're black with grime.
Where were they? Last night, I got home and I peeled them off my hands in front of my bed. Because I'd been exhausted, I threw them on the center of the bed, next to the blue-with-white-polka-dots body pillow I sleep with.
I never took them off my bed when I cleaned it off last night.
I must've slept on them all night.
Bull.
"God, help me find them, please," I said under my breath, jerking at the blankets.
"Maybe you left them in the car."
"That's not posssible, I know I threw them on the bed last night. I can picture them right there."
"It couldn't hurt to go look on the floor of the car."
"THEY ARE NOT IN THE CAR. THEY WERE ON MY BED. I PROBABLY KNOCKED THEM UNDERNEATH THE BED, OFF EITHER SIDE."
Heaving my couch sideways, I poked my head under the bed. Lots of dust, and oh, hey, my headphones. I was wondering where they went.
"Why would your wheelchair gloves be under your couch? Get your coat on so you can go check the car. It's a little cold out."
I picked up my white jacket, sliding it onto my shoulders. "What if they got stuck in the blanket--or the pillows? Maybe they're in one of the pillowcases???"
After a quick ruffling of the covers, I caught sight of the clock. 6:22. I was running out of time. Any minute now, my dad would call up the stairs to see if I was ready to walk out the door yet. Delay more than that, and I'd be late to the bible study--I don't have Andrew's number, how am I going to tell him I'm going to be late? What if he goes somewhere else in Webb and I have to look for him? Ugh, so much for being early.
"I can't go to school without my gloves." I told myself; my dad would have to wait for me to find them. Funnily enough, he hadn't noticed the time yet.
"God, help me calm down and retrace my steps. They're here somewhere."
"You never checked the car."
"Whatever. I don't see them. I'm just going to make do. I've got old gloves lying around. They'll work. Between all my old ones, I've got a decent right and left." Thus began the process of cluttering my room more, as progressively older gloves flew around. "God, show me which glove to grab, which one is in best condition. It's 6:30, God, please. Don't make me go without gloves."
"Praise God in all circumstances. It's in Thessalonians."
"Okay God, thanks for giving me old pairs of gloves I could wear when I need them," I sighed, "I'm gonna find those gloves this afternoon. No doubt."
Trey woke up and opened his door, wearing basketball shorts and his green Dicks Sporting Goods shirt. "Hey man, wha's up?"
"Eh, lost my wheelchair gloves. I think I slept on them. No idea where I kicked them."
"It's all good man, are these the ones?" he handed me an old ragged pair I had tossed somewhere.
"No, but I'll take them," I rammed them into my coat pocket. "See ya man."
"Have a good day man!" Trey said.
"I'll try. No wheelchair gloves, remember?"
"No, there is no try, there is only do!"
"Ok, Yoda."
I slumped downstairs and told my dad I was ready. Walking to the car, I dropped my backpack in the backseat, and started fumbling in the bag for the almost finished wheelchair glove I'd been sewing the past few days. Even it if ended up looking bad, I was going to finish that one yellow glove in the pale on-off light of the streets lights still on and the rising sun somewhere behind me.
"Check the floor for your gloves."
Feeling around at my feet, before buckling up, I found them on top of the floormat. There they were!
I pulled the old grungy gloves out of my coat pocket, and something dawned on me. The whole morning, I'd been angry because I couldn't find my gloves and was prepared to settle for this cruddy, worn-to-nothing no-good pair of gloves instead of the new, perfect, awesome gloves God had in store for me.
We don't always remember how much God cares for us, how he knows our needs, and he provides them. Before we were born, God knew us, and he'd already planned the life we could live to glorify him most. He's never going to let us down.
God spoke to me this morning, and it took me losing my ability to roll properly for me to hear it. God wants to clothe us in a new robe and call us by name, if we will just hear what He has to say.
I couldn't believe I had let something as trivial as a pair of gloves get in the way of my walk with God. Lost gloves did not affect my salvation, and I would survive without them if I had to. God knew my needs, and he answered my prayer this morning. All I had to do was listen.
I texted Trey that I found them in the car, and his answer was right, coming from him and in some ways, coming from God: "Haha I told you! About the good day that is!"
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I'm coming out
According to my newsfeed, today is coming out day. I think that means if you're gay, or you feel that way sometimes, or you want to be accepted in that community, you're supposed to use today as an opportunity to tell the world you're coming out as homosexual.
I don't really know how it's supposed to work.
So I could write a better blog entry, I did a little research on the history of today being Coming Out Day. Apparently, this date was chosen because of a famous march on Washington by the LGBT community back in the late eighties. I'm not really sure. I did use Wikipedia, after all.
According to my women's studies professor, straight people are actually discriminating against homosexuals if they never come out as straight. The idea is something like because heterosexuality is the norm, people automatically assume attraction to the opposite sex is expected, and if that is not the case, the inherent awkwardness oppresses the homosexual, bisexual, and transsexual communities. So, I think the reasoning is if homosexual people have to come out as homosexual in order for their sexual orientation to be recognized by society, the sexual orientation of every other living human on the planet must be called into question or declared "undecided" or something.
For me, that's just weird.
Just trying to explain how not coming out as straight, gay, bi, or single-and-loving-it discriminates against gay people confused me so much, I'm not even sure my explanation made sense.
(If someone out there reading this understands how it's supposed to work better than I do, please, do share.)
Why do people have to come out at all? Every gay person I know has told me, "It's not always about sex" so why make it about sex? Doesn't coming out as homosexual imply something other than just a feeling for the same sex? Not to downplay any of the discrimination and oppression homosexuals face on a day-to-day basis, but maybe part of the reason straight people don't come out is because they "do it" behind closed doors.
Coming out as straight would be like, "I'm sexually attracted to women, (and I like it woman-on-top)." Granted, the statement I just made is a tad exaggerated, but it needs to be in order to compare to the stigmata associated with being gay. Even before I started taking women's studies, I knew if you said you were gay, people concluded you liked it Brokeback Mountain style.
Do you see my point?
There's nothing wrong with coming out, in my opinion. I've had people come out to me before, a few times as one of their first supporters, but I don't understand why people come out.
Perhaps, perhaps it's a matter of self-confidence, and accepting who you are?
Assuming that's what it's all about, then yes, I think coming out is important. Knowing who you are is absolutely essential in day-to-day life, and it's also important to make it clear to others.
Please allow me the opportunity to come out to you, to be as honest and frank as I can muster.
I, Jonathan, am coming out about who I am, not just the me people see, but the me on the inside, the real, nothing-to-hide me.
I am a terrible person inside. Jealousy, rage, and passionate sexual urges consume me. Every day, I struggle not to think more highly of myself than I should, or harangue some poor soul taking the elevator up one floor even though the stairs are empty and two of the three elevators are broke-down. It's not just the elevators either. Stand in my wheelchair's blindspot, and I'm liable to shove you to the ground even after you come into my field of vision.
My own insecurities leave me feeling clingy, unwanted, thirsty for companionship in any form. Sure, I've got my "good person" moments too, but can they really make up for all the darkness that is inside me? Karma doesn't work like a see-saw, and even if it did, I doubt my good deeds could ever balance out my bad deeds. This isn't some brainwashed religious dogma forcing me to feel guilty over imagined and contrived wrongdoings some preacher shouted at me from his wooden podium. This is me recognizing the hurt I've had no problem causing too many times.
I'm still ashamed of the tears people cried because of me. There was one dude when I was younger, Kyle, he just wanted to play basketball with three other dudes at church and I. I told him no way because it would unbalance the teams. He went home from vacation bible school early that day, crying.
Truth is, I'm not worth the chewed gum stuck to the heel of my boot. In the sight of a perfect, blameless God, I am nothing. Let me come out and say, I am a sinner saved by the love, power, and grace of Jesus.
Happy coming out day.
I don't really know how it's supposed to work.
So I could write a better blog entry, I did a little research on the history of today being Coming Out Day. Apparently, this date was chosen because of a famous march on Washington by the LGBT community back in the late eighties. I'm not really sure. I did use Wikipedia, after all.
According to my women's studies professor, straight people are actually discriminating against homosexuals if they never come out as straight. The idea is something like because heterosexuality is the norm, people automatically assume attraction to the opposite sex is expected, and if that is not the case, the inherent awkwardness oppresses the homosexual, bisexual, and transsexual communities. So, I think the reasoning is if homosexual people have to come out as homosexual in order for their sexual orientation to be recognized by society, the sexual orientation of every other living human on the planet must be called into question or declared "undecided" or something.
For me, that's just weird.
Just trying to explain how not coming out as straight, gay, bi, or single-and-loving-it discriminates against gay people confused me so much, I'm not even sure my explanation made sense.
(If someone out there reading this understands how it's supposed to work better than I do, please, do share.)
Why do people have to come out at all? Every gay person I know has told me, "It's not always about sex" so why make it about sex? Doesn't coming out as homosexual imply something other than just a feeling for the same sex? Not to downplay any of the discrimination and oppression homosexuals face on a day-to-day basis, but maybe part of the reason straight people don't come out is because they "do it" behind closed doors.
Coming out as straight would be like, "I'm sexually attracted to women, (and I like it woman-on-top)." Granted, the statement I just made is a tad exaggerated, but it needs to be in order to compare to the stigmata associated with being gay. Even before I started taking women's studies, I knew if you said you were gay, people concluded you liked it Brokeback Mountain style.
Do you see my point?
There's nothing wrong with coming out, in my opinion. I've had people come out to me before, a few times as one of their first supporters, but I don't understand why people come out.
Perhaps, perhaps it's a matter of self-confidence, and accepting who you are?
Assuming that's what it's all about, then yes, I think coming out is important. Knowing who you are is absolutely essential in day-to-day life, and it's also important to make it clear to others.
Please allow me the opportunity to come out to you, to be as honest and frank as I can muster.
I, Jonathan, am coming out about who I am, not just the me people see, but the me on the inside, the real, nothing-to-hide me.
I am a terrible person inside. Jealousy, rage, and passionate sexual urges consume me. Every day, I struggle not to think more highly of myself than I should, or harangue some poor soul taking the elevator up one floor even though the stairs are empty and two of the three elevators are broke-down. It's not just the elevators either. Stand in my wheelchair's blindspot, and I'm liable to shove you to the ground even after you come into my field of vision.
My own insecurities leave me feeling clingy, unwanted, thirsty for companionship in any form. Sure, I've got my "good person" moments too, but can they really make up for all the darkness that is inside me? Karma doesn't work like a see-saw, and even if it did, I doubt my good deeds could ever balance out my bad deeds. This isn't some brainwashed religious dogma forcing me to feel guilty over imagined and contrived wrongdoings some preacher shouted at me from his wooden podium. This is me recognizing the hurt I've had no problem causing too many times.
I'm still ashamed of the tears people cried because of me. There was one dude when I was younger, Kyle, he just wanted to play basketball with three other dudes at church and I. I told him no way because it would unbalance the teams. He went home from vacation bible school early that day, crying.
Truth is, I'm not worth the chewed gum stuck to the heel of my boot. In the sight of a perfect, blameless God, I am nothing. Let me come out and say, I am a sinner saved by the love, power, and grace of Jesus.
Happy coming out day.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Why isn't there a God's day?
Father's day is sometime in June, if I remember correctly. Mother's Day is easy; it's always the week of my mother's birthday, that Sunday I think. Siblings and pets have birthdays to celebrate, and lovers are special enough to get one of the scarce few days in February. Why isn't there a day to celebrate all that God's done?
Don't tell me that's what Christmas and Easter are for. Christmas might celebrate the birth of Christ, but Jesus sure didn't fall into that manger because it lay beneath the chimney. And where was Peter when the stone rolled away? Peter Cottontail, I mean. We know where Simon Peter was.
I'm serious. God deserves a day when all we do is focus on him.
Your father and mother aren't always going to be there for you, but God doesn't mind babysitting, even if you're all grown up.
And, I don't care who yo daddy is, God is entitled to the "world's best dad" shirt.
Moms have it rough, and sometimes they just forget to take the chicken out of the freezer, but truth be told, God won't forget to feed you.
Since there's no calendar day devoted to the God of the universe, why don't we all take what's left of today and devote it to celebrating all that God's done for us? You know I'm going to.
Don't tell me that's what Christmas and Easter are for. Christmas might celebrate the birth of Christ, but Jesus sure didn't fall into that manger because it lay beneath the chimney. And where was Peter when the stone rolled away? Peter Cottontail, I mean. We know where Simon Peter was.
I'm serious. God deserves a day when all we do is focus on him.
Your father and mother aren't always going to be there for you, but God doesn't mind babysitting, even if you're all grown up.
And, I don't care who yo daddy is, God is entitled to the "world's best dad" shirt.
Moms have it rough, and sometimes they just forget to take the chicken out of the freezer, but truth be told, God won't forget to feed you.
Since there's no calendar day devoted to the God of the universe, why don't we all take what's left of today and devote it to celebrating all that God's done for us? You know I'm going to.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Rough day
The past few days have been getting progressively more difficult. Stress at home, stress at work, and stress in general have been taxing on me. My dad and I had an argument a few weeks back. It was never resolved because he refused to acknowledge any reality other than what he wanted to perceive it as. Essentially, he's dictating how I'm supposed to act, and if I show any emotions (because he's yelling at me like I'm in trouble), he shrugs them off as me tearing up a little over nothing.
I'm not a kid anymore.
My frustration and anger aside, I'm in a really down spot right now because I got too busy today to spend any serious time in prayer or bible reading. I managed twenty minutes of cramming this morning before I had to get to class and finish my homework, and then I almost sat aside my homework for another class at noon to flat-out bible study, but I wasn't able to do it. I just had too much homework and got too busy to afford more than the three obscure verses I looked up for a friend organizing a bible study.
My best friend's mom is sick with a sinus infection again. She's been fighting it since December or November. I'm worried for her, her family, and most significantly, for my friend. I don't know how to comfort my friend because she's not a Christian and most of the time if I share a bible verse with her, she's just like "Oh. What does that mean? I don't see how it relates to my mom being sick." It's hard to find any verse she can really appreciate for what it is, and that's compounded by the fact she's literally my closest friend, even if we're not as close right now.
I think God's telling me to get on my knees and pray, first thing tomorrow morning. I'm discouraged and I can't go on without catching up on my God-time first chance I get. God's got me, from now until forever.
I'm not a kid anymore.
My frustration and anger aside, I'm in a really down spot right now because I got too busy today to spend any serious time in prayer or bible reading. I managed twenty minutes of cramming this morning before I had to get to class and finish my homework, and then I almost sat aside my homework for another class at noon to flat-out bible study, but I wasn't able to do it. I just had too much homework and got too busy to afford more than the three obscure verses I looked up for a friend organizing a bible study.
My best friend's mom is sick with a sinus infection again. She's been fighting it since December or November. I'm worried for her, her family, and most significantly, for my friend. I don't know how to comfort my friend because she's not a Christian and most of the time if I share a bible verse with her, she's just like "Oh. What does that mean? I don't see how it relates to my mom being sick." It's hard to find any verse she can really appreciate for what it is, and that's compounded by the fact she's literally my closest friend, even if we're not as close right now.
I think God's telling me to get on my knees and pray, first thing tomorrow morning. I'm discouraged and I can't go on without catching up on my God-time first chance I get. God's got me, from now until forever.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
You Are Here
Ordinarily, or formerly as it may be, this would have been more than enough God time for me. I'd feel spiritually refreshed, and in sync with God. I'm a simple guy. If the bible shows me an example of God using disabled people in spite of their pain or suffering, I'm happy. If God reveals a nuance of his love for humanity that I'd never considered, I'm jumping up and down and singing praises in front of the drill press.
But, it's not just me anymore.
Too many people depend on my faith for their own walk with God.
I'm not saying they are my responsibility or that without me they wouldn't be able to do the whole God thing. God is God, and he doesn't need anyone or anything to fulfill his divine purpose in our lives. Besides, we can't save anyone, no matter how hard we try. Only God, through his mercy, saves.
What I'm saying is that God has placed these people and situations in my life for a reason, and all I know to do is give God the glory however I can.
I wish there was a step-by-step process to get help from the useless staff at a nursing home or encourage every doubting believer or reunite every broken love. You know, something with faceless illustrations.
There's not--but there is a God in control of all these situations.
As much as I love helping people come closer to God, I still wonder how I fit in. My human nature yearns to see it's own desires fulfilled. Last week was hard because I didn't always feel the strongest, or if I did, I pushed myself farther than I should have--and it hurts even to admit it--and I hate being stuck on a couch. I worry I'll never have the strength to serve God in the way I want, even though I know he will sustain me and even without Muscular Dystrophy, I would never be strong enough to serve him without his strength in me.
It's a tough battle, even without all the people who depend on me for encouragement. I hope you can see how broken and weak I felt. I didn't understand how I could possibly be where God wanted me to be in order to glorify him most and become more Christ-like in my actions.
God snapped me out of it Friday.
Just like the day before, God had really shown me how blessed I was, and how many people he had placed around me who were imbued with the Holy Spirit. Because of people like Catherine, Mary, and Crystal, I was seeing God work out my own problems.
That gave me the strength to ignore my own suffering and fight the many temptations dangling in front of me. Seriously, God is enough.
I saw who I was without God, and how miserable I had been back then, and I hated that person.
After leading the French bible study, and being overwhelmed by God's presence in it, I wanted nothing more than for God to know my faults and lead me in the way everlasting.
But I have spared you for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth. ~Exodus 9:16
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Feeling Courageous
Ok, you got me. This is more about an upcoming movie than about the bible.
My church is reserving several theaters for opening night at the nearby movie theater. Church goers are encouraged to buy their tickets through the church, and also to contribute towards getting tickets for the entire city's police precinct (and their wives) to come see the movie.
My plan is to buy three tickets tomorrow. One is for a police officer, and the other two I'm reserving for myself. There are two ideal uses for those tickets, in my opinion. Me, Jonathan, the adorable single dude I am, I 'd love to take a Christian woman to see this movie with me, i.e. on a date. I have someone in mind, but it's in God's hands if I go with her, since at this point, it's still a bit far off.
The other ideal use of the spare ticket would be for the friend whom God most wants to see this movie with me. Considering the trailer promises a deep, make-you-read-ya-bible plotline, there's a lot of potential for God to speak through the movie.
In the meantime, I'm going to pray that God reveals whom should sit next to me in the theater, because I do not doubt there is someone God's pointing to.
My plan is to buy three tickets tomorrow. One is for a police officer, and the other two I'm reserving for myself. There are two ideal uses for those tickets, in my opinion. Me, Jonathan, the adorable single dude I am, I 'd love to take a Christian woman to see this movie with me, i.e. on a date. I have someone in mind, but it's in God's hands if I go with her, since at this point, it's still a bit far off.
The other ideal use of the spare ticket would be for the friend whom God most wants to see this movie with me. Considering the trailer promises a deep, make-you-read-ya-bible plotline, there's a lot of potential for God to speak through the movie.
In the meantime, I'm going to pray that God reveals whom should sit next to me in the theater, because I do not doubt there is someone God's pointing to.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Someone else
In the past month and a half-ish, I finished reading Revelations and started back again with Genesis. This time around, I've got more colored pens than I did when I started last time, so I'm keeping an eye out for the details I've yet to color-code, but more than that, I've been fascinated with how God's love works in the Old Testament. Most if not all Christians understand God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Sure, okay, nifty, but that's the New Testament God.
The Old Testament God is the exact same entity as the New Testament God, just saying.
God doesn't change, got it. Except, the Old Testament loves getting all nationalistic for the nation of Israel and the Jewish people. Considering,they're God's chosen people, I can't help feeling a little out of the loop.
But, God loved the world, not just the Jewish people. Where is that in the Old Testament? The New Testament tells us that there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for we are all one in Jesus. Surely that doesn't mean before Jesus was born, God loved non-Jews (aka Gentiles) less than Jews.
If Jesus is the promised messiah, the promised savior of the Jewish people (which, praise God, he is!) and he told his followers to make disciples of all nations, then there should be some indication in the Old Testament of his awesome salvation being available to non-Jewish people also.
The first example that comes to mind is the promise made to Abraham, that through his offspring, the whole world would be blessed. I don't know about you, but I've always found that idea to be a bit vague. True, you can, by a long process of analyzing both the language used and the family tree of Abraham down to Jesus, and see that yes, it is theoretically possible that because of Jesus, all nations are blessed.
The only problem is that we're back at the idea that all non-Jews before Christmas 0000 were screwed. Sucks to be them.
I use a purple exclamation mark in the margins of my bible when I discover a verse that shows God's love for non-Jews or the faith they have in him. Sometimes, I put the exclamation mark in parenthesis to indicate the possibility the verse shows God's love for non-Jews or their faith in him. I've only made it halfway through Numbers since starting the bible over again, and most of the purple exclamation marks I've drawn had parenthesis around them.
A few verses in Numbers 15 did not.
Numbers 15:13...blah, blah...when one of God's chosen people by birth brings an offering he should do it like this...Numbers 15:14...when a foreigner living among you presents an offering to the Lord, he must do it the same way...
Wait, what?
Numbers 15:15...same rules for native born and foreigner living among you...You and the alien shall be the same before the Lord.
Say again?
Numbers 15:16...the same laws and regulations will apply both to you and to the alien living among you.
For some odd reason, I feel like there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free but Christ is all, and is in all.
The Old Testament God is the exact same entity as the New Testament God, just saying.
God doesn't change, got it. Except, the Old Testament loves getting all nationalistic for the nation of Israel and the Jewish people. Considering,they're God's chosen people, I can't help feeling a little out of the loop.
But, God loved the world, not just the Jewish people. Where is that in the Old Testament? The New Testament tells us that there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for we are all one in Jesus. Surely that doesn't mean before Jesus was born, God loved non-Jews (aka Gentiles) less than Jews.
If Jesus is the promised messiah, the promised savior of the Jewish people (which, praise God, he is!) and he told his followers to make disciples of all nations, then there should be some indication in the Old Testament of his awesome salvation being available to non-Jewish people also.
The first example that comes to mind is the promise made to Abraham, that through his offspring, the whole world would be blessed. I don't know about you, but I've always found that idea to be a bit vague. True, you can, by a long process of analyzing both the language used and the family tree of Abraham down to Jesus, and see that yes, it is theoretically possible that because of Jesus, all nations are blessed.
The only problem is that we're back at the idea that all non-Jews before Christmas 0000 were screwed. Sucks to be them.
I use a purple exclamation mark in the margins of my bible when I discover a verse that shows God's love for non-Jews or the faith they have in him. Sometimes, I put the exclamation mark in parenthesis to indicate the possibility the verse shows God's love for non-Jews or their faith in him. I've only made it halfway through Numbers since starting the bible over again, and most of the purple exclamation marks I've drawn had parenthesis around them.
A few verses in Numbers 15 did not.
Numbers 15:13...blah, blah...when one of God's chosen people by birth brings an offering he should do it like this...Numbers 15:14...when a foreigner living among you presents an offering to the Lord, he must do it the same way...
Wait, what?
Numbers 15:15...same rules for native born and foreigner living among you...You and the alien shall be the same before the Lord.
Say again?
Numbers 15:16...the same laws and regulations will apply both to you and to the alien living among you.
For some odd reason, I feel like there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free but Christ is all, and is in all.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Que Dieu nous aide
Alors, récemment, Dieu l'a mis sur mon coeur qu'il faut faire quelque chose pour son gloire avec le français. J'ai fait beaucoup de recherche à l'église française, et je suis membre des associations pour les chrétiens au monde francophone. Donc, j'ai réalisé que je connaissais plein des chrétiens qui parle français mais qui n'ont pas de vocabulaire de leur foi.
Dieu m'a bénéficié avec le don des diverses langues et je crois le don de l'interprétation des langues. Aussi, Il m'a donné une compréhension de sa parole et la capacité de parler sans peur.
Et puis, si vous pourriez prier que Dieu parle par moi, et que nous pouvons trouver une heure de le faire et aussi quelque par ou nous pouvons lire la bible, je vous remercie.
***
So, recently, God placed it on my heart that I need to do something for His glory with French. I've done a lot of research on the French church and I'm a member of some organizations for Christians in the French-speaking world. And so, I realized I know plenty of French-speaking Christians who don't know the vocabulary of their faith.
God blessed me with the gift of various languages, and I believe the interpretation of these languages. Also, He gave me an understanding of his word and the ability to speak without fear.
And so, if you could pray for God to speak through me and for us to find a time to do the Bible study as well as a place to hold to do it at, I would really appreciate it.
Dieu m'a bénéficié avec le don des diverses langues et je crois le don de l'interprétation des langues. Aussi, Il m'a donné une compréhension de sa parole et la capacité de parler sans peur.
Et puis, si vous pourriez prier que Dieu parle par moi, et que nous pouvons trouver une heure de le faire et aussi quelque par ou nous pouvons lire la bible, je vous remercie.
***
So, recently, God placed it on my heart that I need to do something for His glory with French. I've done a lot of research on the French church and I'm a member of some organizations for Christians in the French-speaking world. And so, I realized I know plenty of French-speaking Christians who don't know the vocabulary of their faith.
God blessed me with the gift of various languages, and I believe the interpretation of these languages. Also, He gave me an understanding of his word and the ability to speak without fear.
And so, if you could pray for God to speak through me and for us to find a time to do the Bible study as well as a place to hold to do it at, I would really appreciate it.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
A musical number
To my amazement, God is using me to lead others in their spiritual walk. Even though I know the bible pretty well now, and I could find verses for nearly any life situation, I'm not this strong in my faith naturally. Just like the song says, I'm not what I have done, I'm what I've overcome.
I've given my testimony before on this blog, several times I'm sure, but I'm just beginning to realize how God uses our past experiences to His glory. I'm probably oversimplifying this, but God allows the things that we go through in our lives to happen so that he can see how we react to them, and if our response is to turn to him, then he turns those experiences into opportunities. Each time we overcome an obstacle or tough spot in our life through our faith in God, God uses us to help others get through similar circumstances.
I swear, once you're set in your ways with God, through thick and thin, He arranges the needy in a zig-zag line direct to you. Well, it's actually more like you're the neon sign that draws people in and God's the one doing the talking.
You can't beat the bargains you'll find with God, I guarantee it.
Don't bother with generic knock-offs--even kids can tell you Dollar Store crud will break in a week. I got a box of dollar store crayons once. Not only was every crayon broken before I'd even begun coloring, they failed to transfer their color to the page. Why bother with anything subpar?
With God, the quality is top-notch.
In my own life, God is using me to encourage a recently-acquired friend who is struggling with his faith amidst a painful break-up. When I went through a similar crisis last summer, I devoted myself to studying the Bible; the verses that encouraged me also encouraged him. Before, I knew this guy's name, his job, and his girlfriend, but not much else. Now, this former stranger is my best friend and confidant; after a month and a half we've already got more than enough dirt to blackmail eachother into anything!
Another result of my time spent studying God's word is that I've become one of the alternate Sunday school teachers for the college and career class I'm in. Three weeks ago, I took over the job of sending out prayer requests to this class, and once June comes, I'll officially be the go-to-guy for this class. Considering the frequency our teachers are out, I expect to teach once a month at first, and maybe in six months do it every Sunday.
First God made me a witness to his power, and now he's made me a leader for other believers.
The hours God's open for business are from everlasting to everlasting (closed for Judgement Day).
And get this, just for coming to God, you get a coupon for a free Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card.
I can attest to this personally, but God's ways are not like anyone else's. They just aren't. Does Stephen Hawking operate at the level of a high school chemistry teacher?
Want proof?
God is using me to do his work, me, the judgmental and insecure snot I am.
But, it's not me speaking. It's God speaking through me and through my experiences so that his purpose is fulfilled.
It's a fantastic agreement. Like, I don't know why the mountains and hills aren't already singing nor why the trees aren't clapping their hands.
Oh, and did I mention the lifetime warrantee, that what you get from God will never break or be destroyed, ever?
I've given my testimony before on this blog, several times I'm sure, but I'm just beginning to realize how God uses our past experiences to His glory. I'm probably oversimplifying this, but God allows the things that we go through in our lives to happen so that he can see how we react to them, and if our response is to turn to him, then he turns those experiences into opportunities. Each time we overcome an obstacle or tough spot in our life through our faith in God, God uses us to help others get through similar circumstances.
I swear, once you're set in your ways with God, through thick and thin, He arranges the needy in a zig-zag line direct to you. Well, it's actually more like you're the neon sign that draws people in and God's the one doing the talking.
You can't beat the bargains you'll find with God, I guarantee it.
Don't bother with generic knock-offs--even kids can tell you Dollar Store crud will break in a week. I got a box of dollar store crayons once. Not only was every crayon broken before I'd even begun coloring, they failed to transfer their color to the page. Why bother with anything subpar?
With God, the quality is top-notch.
In my own life, God is using me to encourage a recently-acquired friend who is struggling with his faith amidst a painful break-up. When I went through a similar crisis last summer, I devoted myself to studying the Bible; the verses that encouraged me also encouraged him. Before, I knew this guy's name, his job, and his girlfriend, but not much else. Now, this former stranger is my best friend and confidant; after a month and a half we've already got more than enough dirt to blackmail eachother into anything!
Another result of my time spent studying God's word is that I've become one of the alternate Sunday school teachers for the college and career class I'm in. Three weeks ago, I took over the job of sending out prayer requests to this class, and once June comes, I'll officially be the go-to-guy for this class. Considering the frequency our teachers are out, I expect to teach once a month at first, and maybe in six months do it every Sunday.
First God made me a witness to his power, and now he's made me a leader for other believers.
The hours God's open for business are from everlasting to everlasting (closed for Judgement Day).
And get this, just for coming to God, you get a coupon for a free Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card.
I can attest to this personally, but God's ways are not like anyone else's. They just aren't. Does Stephen Hawking operate at the level of a high school chemistry teacher?
Want proof?
God is using me to do his work, me, the judgmental and insecure snot I am.
But, it's not me speaking. It's God speaking through me and through my experiences so that his purpose is fulfilled.
It's a fantastic agreement. Like, I don't know why the mountains and hills aren't already singing nor why the trees aren't clapping their hands.
Oh, and did I mention the lifetime warrantee, that what you get from God will never break or be destroyed, ever?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
A micro blog too big for twitter.
I feel like God has laid some things on my heart I need to work out, or need to find the patience to wait for God to explain them to me. In some ways, I feel I'm not doing enough to show others I am a follower of Christ Jesus, but in others, I feel like I'm a leader among my Christian friends.
God has blessed me these past few weeks. I have been shown a great number of my acquaintances are Christians. Each day, it feels like I realize another person I know is a believer. Regardless of if I'm actually seeing these people find Jesus while I know them, I am seeing the numbers of people who believe increase from what I thought was the case. It's a pretty sweet faith cushion, if you know what I mean.
I really don't know what this post was for, but I feel better having written in.
God has blessed me these past few weeks. I have been shown a great number of my acquaintances are Christians. Each day, it feels like I realize another person I know is a believer. Regardless of if I'm actually seeing these people find Jesus while I know them, I am seeing the numbers of people who believe increase from what I thought was the case. It's a pretty sweet faith cushion, if you know what I mean.
I really don't know what this post was for, but I feel better having written in.
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