Jonah, Chapter Two.

In the previous installment of Jonah's exciting life, God told him to go to the city of Nineveh to tell them to stop their evil ways, but Jonah didn't think it necessary, so he used his frequent-flyer miles to go somewhere else. As a result, he's currently being digested in the belly of a giant fish.

That's where we begin, with Jonah trying to strike a deal with God. It goes without saying he's realized by this point he screwed up--how much lower can you go than the small intestine of a sperm whale swimming at the bottom of the ocean?

But Jonah's got an idea; he's going to call for help.

Please understand, this whole ordeal probably happened before S.O.S. was invented, so for Jonah to call for help and be heard was pretty miraculous.

Even though Jonah was in pretty much the worst possible situation he could fathom, yet he didn't blame God for messing his life up. Despite his situation, Jonah took full responsibility for it all and accepted God had allowed him an in-depth look at fish guts for a reason.

Chances were, Jonah had no clue what God was planning to do with him but he was thrilled because he knew whatever God did would be for the glory of God.

So what does Jonah do? He rejoices!

One of his biggest revelations came when he recognized God's grace surpassed whatever any other "god" was capable of. It seems Jonah understood the God he believed in would forgive him if he repented from his sins and turned back to God.

He knew beyond all doubt God would save him! How about that!

You know how God works in mysterious ways? It seems God let this whale get beached so it could start heaving until, lo and behold, it barfed Jonah onto the shore. Personally, I wonder how often Jonah took a bath if he gave the giant man-eating fish thing indigestion, but that's beside the point.

The point is simple. No matter what you've done, God will welcome you back with open arms if you stop doing stuff God doesn't want you doing. He will forgive you, and know that he will save you.

An Adventure of Biblical Proportions

In a previous blog entry, I said I wanted to analyze the book of Jonah, focusing on its relevance to modern life and also the spiritual advice I found in it.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

So, God told Jonah to go to this city, Nineveh, and talk to them about God and what they were doing wrong. For whatever reason, Jonah flatly refused, heading to a different city instead.

Not surprisingly, God wasn't pleased so He sent a storm to give Jonah a wake up call. Meanwhile, everyone else on the boat was petrified by the storm, so much so they even threw their cargo overboard. Personally, I'm envisioning the dudes on that show "Deadliest Catch" being out there at sea and then a storm so monstrous comes up everyone on board unanimously agrees to dump their entire catch for the season back into the sea just so they can make it home alive.

Can you imagine what it would take for that to happen?

Back to the story, it got so bad, these sailor types were frantically searching for a God to save them, and presumably they had enough variety for the captain to feel it necessary to wake Jonah on the off-chance his God would step in.

When the captain woke Jonah, the scene up top was in total panic. Standing on one hand on the tip of the ship's forward-most point with Yoda balanced on his foot was a Luke Skywalker impersonator but the Force is not strong with this one. Towards the rear of the ship, someone was hoping to be touched by the noodly appendage of the Flying Spaghetti Monster but the poor dude was on Atkins. Probably someone was worshiping a voice in their pinkie and maybe someone managed to stop a Buddha paperweight from being thrown overboard in the earlier cargo dump. But despite their best efforts, no one was really having any luck reaching their ethereal being of choice.

Bear in mind, I took some liberty reading in between the lines there, but I'm sure the actual event wasn't too dissimilar.

By the time sleepyhead Jonah got up and made it to the deck, the crew was to the point of drawing straws to find out who caused the storm.

Naturally, Jonah drew the short straw so everyone wanted to know what they could do to stop the storm.

Personally, I think Jonah had a flare for sarcasm.

"Pick me up and throw me into the sea," he replied, "and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you." (Jonah 1:12)

Someone on that ship was reasonable because they tried to get out of the storm on their own, but eventually Jonah got voted off the island, so to speak.

When the storm stopped immediately after they threw Jonah overboard, one could say it put the fear of God in everyone left on the boat.

It seems Jonah and Pinocchio had something in common.

That's my basic synopsis of chapter one, with only two real points I can put into action in my life. Firstly, God doesn't like it when we do something contrary to what He has planned for us; we shouldn't fight His will in our lives. Secondly, God is all-powerful, and no storm in your life is too great for him to overcome. If you're going through a rough spot, maybe God's trying to get you to see you're not on track with His will.

In case it's unclear, all He wants for you is for you to accept Jesus into your heart so that you can spend eternity in God's love.

Jonah, but not the asparagus.

Lots of people have heard of the Veggie Tales movie involving Jonah, the dude from the Bible who got swallowed by a whale.

But yeah, recently I read the four chapters of his book, and I found some things of interest. The first is that the Book of Jonah applies to modern life way better than some of the other books of the Bible. The other point of note is the spiritual shove this book gave me about trusting God.

Although I'd sat down here to write about both discoveries, I think I'm going to break them up into several blogs so I can use this blog to fully analyze and grow in my relationship with God through study and commentary.

Thank you for your time, and let me tell you, this fish story isn't about the one that got away, but about those who "cannot tell their right hand from their left," and yes, you should be concerned.