Just recently, although I've been deeply entrenched in the Word, I've lost focus on what I should be thinking about. Despite the fact I've spent a ton of time studying the Bible, I wasn't entirely open to what God had to say to me. I was demanding God give me answers to these huge theological questions, like the role of women in a godly marriage or whether or not it's okay to marry a nonbeliever. Emerald and I have been talking about such things a lot recently, and I liked how moved she would be every time I showed her an obscure corner of the Bible and how it related to whatever was on her mind.
While God blessed me in that regard, I've come to see that in trying to digest the finer points of scripture, I was neglecting the bigger point.
It's all about Jesus, from Genesis to Revelation.
God made it clear this morning that because I'd lost my focus, and I wasn't quite on track, I was growing prideful. Deep down, I thought I could claim to know my way around Scripture, and that it had been of my own doing. It wasn't. If I can understand the Bible, it's because of the work of the Holy Spirit guiding me, not my own stupid ideas pertaining to it.
Every part of the Bible, be it what a marriage is supposed to be or God's view on homosexuality, it all comes back to Jesus and what he did for us. All I have to do is open my Bible to see Jesus is the main character--not only that, he's the main event!
It took me needing spiritual uplifting to see Jesus illustrated throughout the Bible. That's all.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Disability in the Bible
I've been thinking a lot about the role disabilities in general play in the Bible. Of course, there's the fact that without them, Jesus might have been left to cure people of bad hair days and a lack of deodorant. But, there's more to it than that.
Although the Bible does characterize a few specific diseases and conditions, most of the time Biblical disabilities are grouped into a few categories. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are the leprous (usually referring to anyone with a skin condition, not necessarily leprosy itself), the blind, the deaf, the mute, the lame, and perhaps the demon-possessed. For the sake of simplicity, I'd rather not go into that last category at this point in time, because while it certainly is a crippling condition, it's hard to define what it is exactly. I've heard it presented that many of the demon possessions in the Bible resemble the symptoms of modern diseases, but for me, it's cooler for Jesus to cast a legion of demons into a herd of pigs than for him to simply cure an epileptic.
The role of disabled people is special indeed. Usually, disabled people are a way for God's power to be shown to the world, but in my opinion, they are also metaphors for the difference between those who believe in God and those who really don't.
If I had to guess, I would imagine disabled people are more likely to want God's help in their lives, because it's not an easy world to live in. The modern world certainly doesn't treat disabled people with the same level of acceptance as non-disabled people, so I can't imagine how hard it was for disabled people in biblical times. Presumably the day-to-day routine for disabled people back then would have been very similar to what it's like to be disabled in a second or third world country today; you'd pretty much be left to fend for yourself.
I don't mean to say that disabled people are less capable of doing things for themselves, then or now--I certainly am not--but what I mean is that disabled people have a greater need for hope and salvation.
It's not my place to speak for disabled people as a whole, either then or now, but I don't have a problem explaining the connection between my disability and my faith.
MD has never allowed me to live a life of certainty, except that I'm certain I will get tired faster, that my legs will ache sooner, and I will need to sit down longer. I have found my certainty with God.
Even though I walk all through the house, a trip to Wal-Mart without my wheelchair is disconcerting. One too many trips up the stairs to my bedroom is all it takes for my legs to fail me at some point during the next 48 hours. Ask any of my friends, and I'm sure they'll tell you when I'm tired, my hands visibly tremble; sometimes it's so severe, I can barely type.
All my life, I left the house afraid, not of what others thought, but of how far my body would carry me, and then how bad it would punish me when I kept going after my body was ready to quit. Sometimes, it's difficult to predict just where my limits lie, or how much energy I have left when I'm with my friends. I won't let my disability slow me down, but I fear the repercussions of an hour out too late or whatever.
What's God's stance on all this? Well, if you're blind or deaf, he promises those senses will work properly one day. If you're lame (I think this might have been a translation error--they obviously meant rad!), you'll be as agile as a deer one day.
I think what that meant for the disabled people back then, is basically that their favorite spots to sit and beg would be abandoned.
Disabled people, even though they're clearly talked about differently than non-disabled people in the Bible, the only way they can get this promised certainty and healing is through Jesus, just like with everyone else.
None of the jerks we encounter every day will be there, and sighing will be overrated.
That's what I believe, and in my experience, it's rang true. God is good.
Although the Bible does characterize a few specific diseases and conditions, most of the time Biblical disabilities are grouped into a few categories. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are the leprous (usually referring to anyone with a skin condition, not necessarily leprosy itself), the blind, the deaf, the mute, the lame, and perhaps the demon-possessed. For the sake of simplicity, I'd rather not go into that last category at this point in time, because while it certainly is a crippling condition, it's hard to define what it is exactly. I've heard it presented that many of the demon possessions in the Bible resemble the symptoms of modern diseases, but for me, it's cooler for Jesus to cast a legion of demons into a herd of pigs than for him to simply cure an epileptic.
The role of disabled people is special indeed. Usually, disabled people are a way for God's power to be shown to the world, but in my opinion, they are also metaphors for the difference between those who believe in God and those who really don't.
If I had to guess, I would imagine disabled people are more likely to want God's help in their lives, because it's not an easy world to live in. The modern world certainly doesn't treat disabled people with the same level of acceptance as non-disabled people, so I can't imagine how hard it was for disabled people in biblical times. Presumably the day-to-day routine for disabled people back then would have been very similar to what it's like to be disabled in a second or third world country today; you'd pretty much be left to fend for yourself.
I don't mean to say that disabled people are less capable of doing things for themselves, then or now--I certainly am not--but what I mean is that disabled people have a greater need for hope and salvation.
It's not my place to speak for disabled people as a whole, either then or now, but I don't have a problem explaining the connection between my disability and my faith.
MD has never allowed me to live a life of certainty, except that I'm certain I will get tired faster, that my legs will ache sooner, and I will need to sit down longer. I have found my certainty with God.
Even though I walk all through the house, a trip to Wal-Mart without my wheelchair is disconcerting. One too many trips up the stairs to my bedroom is all it takes for my legs to fail me at some point during the next 48 hours. Ask any of my friends, and I'm sure they'll tell you when I'm tired, my hands visibly tremble; sometimes it's so severe, I can barely type.
All my life, I left the house afraid, not of what others thought, but of how far my body would carry me, and then how bad it would punish me when I kept going after my body was ready to quit. Sometimes, it's difficult to predict just where my limits lie, or how much energy I have left when I'm with my friends. I won't let my disability slow me down, but I fear the repercussions of an hour out too late or whatever.
What's God's stance on all this? Well, if you're blind or deaf, he promises those senses will work properly one day. If you're lame (I think this might have been a translation error--they obviously meant rad!), you'll be as agile as a deer one day.
I think what that meant for the disabled people back then, is basically that their favorite spots to sit and beg would be abandoned.
Disabled people, even though they're clearly talked about differently than non-disabled people in the Bible, the only way they can get this promised certainty and healing is through Jesus, just like with everyone else.
None of the jerks we encounter every day will be there, and sighing will be overrated.
That's what I believe, and in my experience, it's rang true. God is good.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Wrong and Right
Due to the recent stress in my life, I have found it's not always as easy to forestall temptation. The past few weeks have been hard, admittedly, but today I really struggled with a gut-wrenching urge to do wrong.
I imagine most physically and emotionally mature people can understand how strong sexual desire is. I don't know that it's stronger for men or women, but as a dude, I know sometimes it almost seems painful to go without. I wouldn't say it actually is painful most of the time, nor would I claim abstinence is a surefire way to (pardon my language) blue balls, but I would say there is a need for some level of satisfaction.
In my case, I want to know I have a girl whose curves I can study guilt free; I want my reason to smile while daydreaming to like attracting me. At the same time, I want to know God is going to clap me on the shoulder and tell me I scored a home run, and not be disappointed by a foul ball.
Baseball metaphors aside (how do baseball and sex always get intertwined?), I hope you can see what I've been struggling with then. It would be easy to rationalize myself into wasting an afternoon looking at "art nudes." It's easy to listen to the cricket on my shoulder saying I could get away with one or two pictures just fine, and maybe I'd be a little happier if I let myself find the very thing I crave.
My desires are not unique to me--I am scared to imagine how easy it might be to find a ride to a strip club--however, I know God will help me fight the temptation if I'll let him.
Temptation is not from God, but it is a way for God to be glorified. In leading us to be tempted, the Holy Spirit is presenting us with a choice: We can choose the easy route and sin, or we can choose the more difficult route and trust in God. Because we're inclined to sin, Jesus suggested in the Lord's Prayer that we ask not to be led into temptation.
Fortunately, today, for the most part, I managed not to fall to sin because God was there to help me take baby steps away from it. When I finally got away from the temptation, I had this awesome sense of being set free.
God is good.
I imagine most physically and emotionally mature people can understand how strong sexual desire is. I don't know that it's stronger for men or women, but as a dude, I know sometimes it almost seems painful to go without. I wouldn't say it actually is painful most of the time, nor would I claim abstinence is a surefire way to (pardon my language) blue balls, but I would say there is a need for some level of satisfaction.
In my case, I want to know I have a girl whose curves I can study guilt free; I want my reason to smile while daydreaming to like attracting me. At the same time, I want to know God is going to clap me on the shoulder and tell me I scored a home run, and not be disappointed by a foul ball.
Baseball metaphors aside (how do baseball and sex always get intertwined?), I hope you can see what I've been struggling with then. It would be easy to rationalize myself into wasting an afternoon looking at "art nudes." It's easy to listen to the cricket on my shoulder saying I could get away with one or two pictures just fine, and maybe I'd be a little happier if I let myself find the very thing I crave.
My desires are not unique to me--I am scared to imagine how easy it might be to find a ride to a strip club--however, I know God will help me fight the temptation if I'll let him.
Temptation is not from God, but it is a way for God to be glorified. In leading us to be tempted, the Holy Spirit is presenting us with a choice: We can choose the easy route and sin, or we can choose the more difficult route and trust in God. Because we're inclined to sin, Jesus suggested in the Lord's Prayer that we ask not to be led into temptation.
Fortunately, today, for the most part, I managed not to fall to sin because God was there to help me take baby steps away from it. When I finally got away from the temptation, I had this awesome sense of being set free.
God is good.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
A funny thing called choice
Christianity is founded on one principle above all others. You could argue this one principle is even more fundamental to Christianity as a whole than Jesus' dying on a cross.
It's the concept of free will.
God gave us free will, so that we could choose for ourselves what seemed like the wisest decision for us.
I'm sure we've all heard the story of free will in the garden of Eden, and how Adam and Eve chose to sin rather than be with God.
Then, some of us choose to believe in God, and we do our best to see where that takes us in life.
What about the choices we see others make? As unaffiliated third parties, it often feels like we can see details others can't in their own lives. Sometimes, we want to step in but we know it's a pointless effort because people are stubborn mules whose minds cannot be changed.
In those cases, we're left feeling helpless, like all we can do is pray for their well-being and wonder how the choice they made fits into God's plan.
A while back, my brother broke up with his girlfriend of five years. At the same time, he started hanging out with this other chick. When he broke up with Amanda, my family and I were all really devastated because we loved Amanda and we wanted to see the two of them stay together. They had been really good together, and it was a total shock when my brother ended the relationship.
Just today, Facebook told me what I'd kind of suspected since he broke up with Amanda; he was dating the other chick.
It would be nice if I could say I didn't make stupid decisions, but to do so would be lying.
A little more than a year and a half ago now, I proposed to my first girlfriend even though at that time it had been like three years since we'd last dated. She was engaged to a butthead she hated, and I wanted her to see, funnily enough, there was always a choice. Fortunately for me, Shana said no. Had she said yes, I would have thrown my entire life down the storm drain.
Of course, I couldn't see that at the time.
If I'd married her, I wouldn't be where I am in my faith today because for starters, Shana was not a born-again Christian. Even though she grew up in a church, she didn't know what it meant to be saved. I shudder to think that I could have married a girl who gets offended if you talk about the Bible.
It's the choices made by those who are closest to me that seem the hardest to bear. I've seen friends reject the Lord or fall to the allure of idiots. As a friend, I want only to support them in their decisions--God knows I can't live their life for them. Heck, I can barely live mine, let alone someone else's at the same time. When I can, I try to guide them in a safer, saner direction, but usually I don't have the luxury. If I offer advice and they don't want it, I better duck.
So, I pray.
Because I've been thinking a lot recently about the choices my peers make, I pray also that God will help me be a positive influence on their lives. I know I'm no expert decision-maker myself, but I believe God can and will use me regardless.
It's the concept of free will.
God gave us free will, so that we could choose for ourselves what seemed like the wisest decision for us.
I'm sure we've all heard the story of free will in the garden of Eden, and how Adam and Eve chose to sin rather than be with God.
Then, some of us choose to believe in God, and we do our best to see where that takes us in life.
What about the choices we see others make? As unaffiliated third parties, it often feels like we can see details others can't in their own lives. Sometimes, we want to step in but we know it's a pointless effort because people are stubborn mules whose minds cannot be changed.
In those cases, we're left feeling helpless, like all we can do is pray for their well-being and wonder how the choice they made fits into God's plan.
A while back, my brother broke up with his girlfriend of five years. At the same time, he started hanging out with this other chick. When he broke up with Amanda, my family and I were all really devastated because we loved Amanda and we wanted to see the two of them stay together. They had been really good together, and it was a total shock when my brother ended the relationship.
Just today, Facebook told me what I'd kind of suspected since he broke up with Amanda; he was dating the other chick.
It would be nice if I could say I didn't make stupid decisions, but to do so would be lying.
A little more than a year and a half ago now, I proposed to my first girlfriend even though at that time it had been like three years since we'd last dated. She was engaged to a butthead she hated, and I wanted her to see, funnily enough, there was always a choice. Fortunately for me, Shana said no. Had she said yes, I would have thrown my entire life down the storm drain.
Of course, I couldn't see that at the time.
If I'd married her, I wouldn't be where I am in my faith today because for starters, Shana was not a born-again Christian. Even though she grew up in a church, she didn't know what it meant to be saved. I shudder to think that I could have married a girl who gets offended if you talk about the Bible.
It's the choices made by those who are closest to me that seem the hardest to bear. I've seen friends reject the Lord or fall to the allure of idiots. As a friend, I want only to support them in their decisions--God knows I can't live their life for them. Heck, I can barely live mine, let alone someone else's at the same time. When I can, I try to guide them in a safer, saner direction, but usually I don't have the luxury. If I offer advice and they don't want it, I better duck.
So, I pray.
Because I've been thinking a lot recently about the choices my peers make, I pray also that God will help me be a positive influence on their lives. I know I'm no expert decision-maker myself, but I believe God can and will use me regardless.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Faith in the Face of Failure
I went to the DMV today to take the driving test. I failed because I had trouble changing lanes and nearly caused an accident. It's not that I'm a bad driver, just that the circumstances piled too many things on my plate, and I was afraid of a possible muscle cramp.
This fear terrifies me.
It's not that I'm worried about it happening and me forcing my way through it--I just hate the severe burning pain associated with the muscle cramps and what I have to do to get through it.
Naturally, I was pretty devastated when I failed the driving test.
I choose to rejoice in God however.
It was a learning experience for me, and I am glad the tester explained to me the precise rules for driving, and I think I have gained from it overall.
I'm also thankful that I didn't cause an accident.
Despite the things I have to be thankful for, it's hard to shrug it off. Excuse the pun, but it was a crippling blow to my self-esteem.
Even so, I cannot just wallow in my angst and frustration. If anything, I need to stand firmer now in my faith than I would under any other circumstances.
Sometimes it seems difficult to grasp why certain things happen the way they do, like with me, I was convinced me driving was on God's checklist. I hadn't seen any blatant signs or anything, and there's not exactly a Bible verse that says "And the LORD sayeth, thou shalt buckle up and drive verily" but it seemed like what God wanted me to do asap. It felt like so many more opportunities to serve God would arise if I could just quit carpooling.
Truthfully, it's what I wanted more than what God wanted, at least for right now.
Who is to say however, that I have to be able to drive to do the Lord's work? Heck, Phillip carpooled, and he sure managed to win souls.
Yes, waiting even longer to get my license, then hand controls for my car, and after that, my independence, it hurts but it's no reason for me to lose heart. I've got to stand strong no matter what.
Some people might say this failure is nothing more than an attack by Satan. Whether or not that is true, I don't know. Although I believe strongly in the concept of spiritual warfare, I can't say with scripture to back it up that I am important enough for Satan to attack like that.
But just in case it is something like that, I have prepared myself.
This fear terrifies me.
It's not that I'm worried about it happening and me forcing my way through it--I just hate the severe burning pain associated with the muscle cramps and what I have to do to get through it.
Naturally, I was pretty devastated when I failed the driving test.
I choose to rejoice in God however.
It was a learning experience for me, and I am glad the tester explained to me the precise rules for driving, and I think I have gained from it overall.
I'm also thankful that I didn't cause an accident.
Despite the things I have to be thankful for, it's hard to shrug it off. Excuse the pun, but it was a crippling blow to my self-esteem.
Even so, I cannot just wallow in my angst and frustration. If anything, I need to stand firmer now in my faith than I would under any other circumstances.
Sometimes it seems difficult to grasp why certain things happen the way they do, like with me, I was convinced me driving was on God's checklist. I hadn't seen any blatant signs or anything, and there's not exactly a Bible verse that says "And the LORD sayeth, thou shalt buckle up and drive verily" but it seemed like what God wanted me to do asap. It felt like so many more opportunities to serve God would arise if I could just quit carpooling.
Truthfully, it's what I wanted more than what God wanted, at least for right now.
Who is to say however, that I have to be able to drive to do the Lord's work? Heck, Phillip carpooled, and he sure managed to win souls.
Yes, waiting even longer to get my license, then hand controls for my car, and after that, my independence, it hurts but it's no reason for me to lose heart. I've got to stand strong no matter what.
Some people might say this failure is nothing more than an attack by Satan. Whether or not that is true, I don't know. Although I believe strongly in the concept of spiritual warfare, I can't say with scripture to back it up that I am important enough for Satan to attack like that.
But just in case it is something like that, I have prepared myself.
Friday, June 4, 2010
God is beyond awesome
In case you don't know, God is beyond awesome. It's not even possible to describe how awesome God is.
As far is God is concerned, the people who always do what's right in his sight have it pretty well off, to put it lightly.
But, for the rest of us, well, I know for me personally, sometimes I find myself pleading with God. I want God to remember me--I want in on God's love and salvation.
God shouldn't even pay any attention to us, right? If sin is rebellion against God, what chance do I have, being that I've sinned way too often? The fact is, I /know/ I'm a sinner.
Let me tell you a story.
Once, some people forgot about all God had done for them.
But God saved them anyways. It gave him an excuse to show off a little.
Here's what God did, to be specific.
Because of all these huge miracles, the people believed in God and sang lots of praises.
[Dramatic Music.] But, they forgot what God did again, and they failed to wait for God to help them discern what to do.
They started nagging God because they were hungry and they wanted to see how God would respond. They weren't that dissimilar from a three-year-old testing Daddy to see what he can get that Mommy might not let him have.
God gave them what they asked for, but he also sent a pretty nasty sickness through the population for nagging so much.
Then, the people became jealous of Moses and Aaron because they got to talk to God directly.
Thus, there was an earthquake and all those haters got torched.
Later, they thought they could trade God--who at the time was presenting himself to them as a pillar of fire the size of a skyscraper--for a stupid replica of a cow. All cows do is eat grass.
It goes without saying they'd pretty much forgotten about God's awesomeness.
Naturally, God was pissed. Fortunately however, Moses was able to step in and cool his temper.
After everything they'd done, and that God had done for them, do you know these people had the audacity not to believe God would keep his promise?
God couldn't let them off easy this time.
They ended up serving false gods, and had it not been for a dude named Phinehas, they would've been wiped out by a plague.
For like the umpteenth time, they rebelled against God. They did everything from human sacrifice to prostitution in the name of religion. That's some sketchy stuff right there.
Fed up, God handed them over to their enemies.
God tried to save them lots of times but they were bent on rebellion and wasted away in their sin.
Even so, God noticed how sucky their situation was. That's actually one of God's strong points, actually. God is watching in all our struggles and sticky spots to see what we'll do.
You know, the parallels between the story I just illustrated for you and our own lives are fascinating. We all forget what God has already done for us, but when life's going smoothly, we're perfectly happy believing in and praising God. But, we always forget again, and we don't seek God's counsel as often as we should. There are times we want to see if God can do it at all, and while we're waiting, we nag God incessantly. Then, when we encounter someone who is on a spiritual high, it's so easy to be jealous of them because it's like God certainly provided for their needs but what about us? Sometimes, we are convinced we don't need God, or we simply lose faith and latch onto worldly things. Every time something new happens in our lives, we question where God is taking us and then when we get there, we're back to praising God. It's a never-ending cycle of belief and doubt, obedience and rebellion, rinsing and repeating. After fending for ourselves for so long, we begin wasting away beneath our daily headaches and heartbreaks. Life, it's just too hard a game to play on our own.
Remember at the end of the story, when I said God watches us to see what we do when suffering from the crud in our lives? We've got two options, only one of which brings God into the picture. Are we going to praise God in our thoughts, actions, and behavior, or are we going to work it out on our own?
As far is God is concerned, the people who always do what's right in his sight have it pretty well off, to put it lightly.
But, for the rest of us, well, I know for me personally, sometimes I find myself pleading with God. I want God to remember me--I want in on God's love and salvation.
God shouldn't even pay any attention to us, right? If sin is rebellion against God, what chance do I have, being that I've sinned way too often? The fact is, I /know/ I'm a sinner.
Let me tell you a story.
Once, some people forgot about all God had done for them.
But God saved them anyways. It gave him an excuse to show off a little.
Here's what God did, to be specific.
Because of all these huge miracles, the people believed in God and sang lots of praises.
[Dramatic Music.] But, they forgot what God did again, and they failed to wait for God to help them discern what to do.
They started nagging God because they were hungry and they wanted to see how God would respond. They weren't that dissimilar from a three-year-old testing Daddy to see what he can get that Mommy might not let him have.
God gave them what they asked for, but he also sent a pretty nasty sickness through the population for nagging so much.
Then, the people became jealous of Moses and Aaron because they got to talk to God directly.
Thus, there was an earthquake and all those haters got torched.
Later, they thought they could trade God--who at the time was presenting himself to them as a pillar of fire the size of a skyscraper--for a stupid replica of a cow. All cows do is eat grass.
It goes without saying they'd pretty much forgotten about God's awesomeness.
Naturally, God was pissed. Fortunately however, Moses was able to step in and cool his temper.
After everything they'd done, and that God had done for them, do you know these people had the audacity not to believe God would keep his promise?
God couldn't let them off easy this time.
They ended up serving false gods, and had it not been for a dude named Phinehas, they would've been wiped out by a plague.
For like the umpteenth time, they rebelled against God. They did everything from human sacrifice to prostitution in the name of religion. That's some sketchy stuff right there.
Fed up, God handed them over to their enemies.
God tried to save them lots of times but they were bent on rebellion and wasted away in their sin.
Even so, God noticed how sucky their situation was. That's actually one of God's strong points, actually. God is watching in all our struggles and sticky spots to see what we'll do.
You know, the parallels between the story I just illustrated for you and our own lives are fascinating. We all forget what God has already done for us, but when life's going smoothly, we're perfectly happy believing in and praising God. But, we always forget again, and we don't seek God's counsel as often as we should. There are times we want to see if God can do it at all, and while we're waiting, we nag God incessantly. Then, when we encounter someone who is on a spiritual high, it's so easy to be jealous of them because it's like God certainly provided for their needs but what about us? Sometimes, we are convinced we don't need God, or we simply lose faith and latch onto worldly things. Every time something new happens in our lives, we question where God is taking us and then when we get there, we're back to praising God. It's a never-ending cycle of belief and doubt, obedience and rebellion, rinsing and repeating. After fending for ourselves for so long, we begin wasting away beneath our daily headaches and heartbreaks. Life, it's just too hard a game to play on our own.
Remember at the end of the story, when I said God watches us to see what we do when suffering from the crud in our lives? We've got two options, only one of which brings God into the picture. Are we going to praise God in our thoughts, actions, and behavior, or are we going to work it out on our own?
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