Thoughts about prayer

For some reason, whenever a sunday school teacher asks if there are any volunteers to do the opening or closing prayer, I never stick my hand up.

I don't know why I'm so hesitant to pray around other people. It's weird. I don't have a problem praying for others, especially when I hear a specific prayer request or see a need for prayer in the lives of my friends, but I don't pray well in a group. Maybe I'm self-conscious or doubt I can pray in that holy prayer language pastors and certain church members have mastered. When I pray, I pray what I'm thinking, and for me, it's no less reverent to talk to God in simple words and clean slang than it is to say something "churchy".

You know what I'm talking about. Don't pretend you've never wondered if there's a Praying 101 you missed out on. It's amazing how the same churchy prayers can sound relevant in almost any situation; often, they're vague and general enough to fit

Churchy prayers are cool and all, but no one says, "we thank you for the opportunity to study your Word from the provided lesson," or "we ask that in your most Holy Name, you bless us as we fellowship together," out in the real world. I know I don't. If I were to pray churchy prayers, I believe I would be wasting God's time because such prayers wouldn't be real to me, and hence, the same would be true for God.

For the important prayers, I like to pray alone in my room with as much quiet as I can get. Even though it sounds all organized and logical when I say it like that, I assure you, my prayers are very ADHD. I don't make this huge list and knock out all my praying in one go; I stop whatever I'm doing during the day the instant I think of another major prayer need.

The reasons to pray vary. There are lots of circumstances in which prayer is appropriate, but some of the more popular ones are in times of trouble or if you or someone you love is sick. One thing worth praying for is that you might recognize opportunities to share your faith and that when the opportunity presents itself, you have the necessary courage to speak out.

It's important to pray for each other, including your family, peers, and your closest Christian friends. In fact, praying for those around will leave you feeling happier and closer to God than you would have felt otherwise.

Prayer isn't restricted to spiritual stuff. You can pray about anything that crosses your mind, be it serious or goofy.

Some of my silliest prayers are for my favorite maps in Call of Duty to come up when I play the game, or for my least favorite maps to be voted out when they come up. Believe it or not, every time I pray for either thing, God does it; some of these maps are almost always skipped, or preferred, so it's a very unlikely coincidence!

Ahem, Jesus made it clear that when you pray, if you believe, you will receive.

I'm not going to go into detail about all the big things I'm praying for right now, because that's between me and God. I would like to talk about some of the personal ones God answered for me in the past few days--sorry, no more video game prayers.

In the past week, Emerald told me she felt we needed some distance between us, breathing room, if you will. I agreed, but immediately found I was sitting at home all the time while most of my friends were at work or wherever. I was going stir crazy.

I've also been rather sad lately because of how long it had been since I'd gotten hugged by a friend or had held a girl's hand. Little things, yes, but when almost the past month was spent exhausted, I wanted nothing more. MD is very good at making me feel alone.

Choosing God rather than depression, I prayed. I think I asked for God to remind me how close my friends were to me. Also, I asked for the chance to experience a girl's affections soon, even if this girl wasn't destined to be my long term partner. I wasn't asking to be tempted by sex or a make-out session; I prayed to avoid that entirely. Female companionship, if you will.

God answered both those prayers the next day.

David spontaneously invited me over to his house for a mini video game party. There, I got to spend time with him, Crystal, and also an old French partner, Christine. It was their environment, and each of them were happy to be there. It was good to spend time around Christine again, and meet her fiancé, whom I'd heard so much about. Despite the fact that I have absolutely no skills whatsoever in Smash Brothers, I had a lot of fun.

That evening, Cherie and I had agreed to hang out. After dinner, we started talking and eventually got on the topic of her ex-boyfriends. She needed to release a lot of pent-up stress over the two of them, particularly Matt. Through her talking, I kept hugging her, and we eventually ended up sitting on the couch holding one another. At one point, she made sure I knew she didn't want to go out with me (in case we ever broke up) but when she saw I wasn't trying to ask her out, she relaxed next to me. Most of the night, we spent watching two soccer matches and talking about what a butthead Matt was.

She told me she is normally bored out of her mind during the day (since she works weekends), and we made plans to start hanging out all the time until the end of summer.

I'm not sure whether to give God a standing ovation or to bow down before his amazingness.

Love is all you need

If God is love, then it's true, love really is all you need.

Bear in mind, there's a difference between real, biblical love, and the popular definition of love used by today's society, cupid, and highschoolers.

Although Paul's explanation of love covers a lot of what would constitute a happy romance, nowhere in that entire chapter on love, is it specified that love is only for couples. The truth is his words on love can be applied to all circumstances where love is required.

My buddy Jesus taught entire sermons around one statement, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself." The only way we can show we love God is to walk in obedience to his commandments, by a conscious choice. The most important commandment is of course to love the Lord, but the next one echoes what Jesus said about loving your neighbor.

Before you start thinking your neighbor is the shmuck next door (or across the street if you need to gossip), you should understand who else we're told to love. For one, Jesus taught that we need to love our enemies and pray for those who mistreat us. True, "enemies" is such a strong word, (in this context meaning the Greek word echthros; a foe, adversary, or one who gives reason for enmity or hatred--thanks Emerald! Love the concordance!), and most of us just aren't lucky enough to have any enemies. We can't all know supervillians, unfortunately. So, for those of us sans enemies, there's always the friend or brother or in-law who does something that drives us up the wall. If you love him/her, forgive them.

While we're talking about love, I'd also like to bring up love's superlative, that is, the most love you can ever show and the most love ever shown. If you love someone, you are willing to sacrifice everything for them, be it your social life, your physical strength, your money, or whatever. But, the biggest sacrifice you can make for love is to forfeit your own life for someone's benefit or protection. That's one reason I have such a profound respect for soldiers and sailors, but of course only one reason.

Back to what I was saying, the biggest demonstration of love ever shown was when Jesus died on the cross. Nothing tops that.

It's encouraging to remember what Jesus did for us, isn't it? Nothing can get me down when I'm thinking that, and I pray that for any one who reads this, they might find the same comfort, the same solidarity, the same hope.

Do this in remembrance of me.

Yesterday was my birthday. I had a good birthday, but not for the reasons you might think.

When you're a kid, birthdays are about the presents you get and the party you have. At some point when you're growing up, birthdays become the one day of the entire year you can devote to yourself. Society would have us believe that your birthday is supposed to be all about you, a day in which you do exactly what you want to, and a day for everyone to show how much you mean to them.

The Bible doesn't disallow such practices, but you can't claim the Bible specifically talks about our modern birthday tradition because lets face it, our culture places a larger emphasis on celebrating one's birthday than the agricultural societies in the Bible could afford.

However, there was one holiday in the Jewish tradition that resembled the way we celebrate birthdays. Passover, with all it's kosher rituals and unleavened bread, was the one time when it was truly all about God. The Sabbath days were pretty holy themselves, but often, it feels like the reason you rest every seventh day and focus on God is lost amidst the commandments. The Passover was different though. You couldn't deny what it meant.

The Passover, as you likely know, was when the LORD brought the Israelites up out of Egypt. It goes back to all the miraculous signs God did so that all peoples might be willing to believe in the one true God, specifically to the actual passing-over by the angel of the LORD of the houses of all who had placed the blood of the covenant over their front door (usually understood as just the Israelites but I'm sure a significant number of Egyptians participated). Another big part of the story is how God let the Israelites pass over the Red Sea on dry ground, while the Egyptians were unable to. Whatever the miracles, the Passover is understood to be in remembrance and reverence of the LORD God Almighty.

Both the Passover and any birthday in our modern world have a central focus. In the one, we're supposed to remember the LORD and all he's done in our lives as well as every miracle he's ever done and just how unfathomable the extent of his power and love really is. In the other, we're supposed to remember the person was born, and show our appreciation for them as a person by expressing our love for them. One is cosmic, the other annual. Even so, these two practices are not that dissimilar.

If I'd had my way, my birthday would've played out lots differently. Ideally, I would've gone airsofting with as many friends as would come, but that's not a realistic expectation by any means. A more attainable model for my birthday would've involved sitting at home with one or two close friends and talking about the mysteries of life, perhaps while playing video games. In fact, I would've liked that one a lot because I didn't actually feel good yesterday. MD has me consistently tired and achy just recently so I wanted someone to covertly understand how to spend time with me without draining me any further.

Concerning the Passover, the LORD showed what he wanted it to be about right before Jesus was arrested. Jesus, being the LORD in the flesh, was very much the focus of the entire passover meal. Up until that point, everything about the passover meal had been representative of what he was to do, and if Jesus really was the LORD, the Passover was a celebration of all the love and power that made him who he was. He had every right to prop his feet up a while, and soak in the love. If it had been me, I would've been happy to lean back and bask in the glory given by the entire Jewish population.

But he didn't do anything like that. Jesus--the LORD God Almighty, the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth, the Beginning and the End, the Prince of Peace and King of kings, and the one true God--that guy, he got down on his knees and washed the disciples' feet. On the one day when Jesus could have taken a breather, he washed toe jam off his friends. He didn't want to be exalted during his time to shine, he wanted to serve others in love.

So that's what I tried to do.

I spent the day with Cherie (who was turning 21 also), and while I was not at all interested in the alcohol fervor for which one's 21st birthday is infamous, I sat with her at her house most of the day, and then went with her to meet some of her anime friends, and finally we all went to dinner so Cherie could down some sake for the heck of it. Most of the day, Cherie was blah and very much consumed by all the effects of the alcohol she'd already consumed. Despite the fact I'm not all that interested in alcohol for disability reasons and my body was screaming in pain, I spent time with Cherie on her terms, and formed new relationships with lots of people. I feel I've come to know more about Cherie in some areas I'd been fuzzy before, and I believe good things will come out of all that happened yesterday.

Miraculous Signs and Wonders

Of all the awesome characters in the Bible, who can forget King Nebuchadnezzar? Aside from being the antagonist in the famous story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace, Nebuchadnezzar did some pretty interesting things. For starters, he was quite the dreamer, then there were those seven years he spent grazing with the cows. Yep, those were some good times alright.

I'm not quite that big a fan of grass myself, but I think Nebuchadnezzar and I are pretty similar. For starters, we both want to tell you all about the miraculous signs and wonders God has done for us.

This past Tuesday, I had an appointment with the wheelchair clinic, expecting to get the few parts my chair is in desperate need of. My mom and I walked in, and the first thing they asked us was how long I'd had the chair. I told them something like 8 years, and they said outright that they were getting me a brand new chair. What's more, they're not going to give me the same model chair I already have, but they're going to give me a newer, redesigned model that's several pounds lighter than the chair I have now!

Then after they finished fitting me for a new chair, the two technicians asked me what my current chair needed in order to last until the new one arrives. I explained the bearings in the right caster plate were worn flat so the wheelchair liked to drift sideways or not maneuver at all. Two things happened when they heard me talk. First, they gave me the parts I needed (plus some extra parts that improved the rigidity of the wheelchair entirely!).

Secondly, they offered me a job! As in, I could call them up and start assembling wheelchairs at any time, and after I graduate, I could start working full-time! What's exciting is apparently half their wheelchairs are made in Europe, which would eventually mean a career speaking French! How cool is that?

Let me explain something real quick. They didn't just offer me the job because I know how to build a wheelchair from a pile of parts. They also offered me the job because they were astonished by all the modifications I'd done to my own chair! The cup-holder mount was a curiosity to them. I got the impression the mirrors (which they only saw the brackets for) were something of a novelty for them, since apparently no one had thought of making folding mirrors for a wheelchair and having them look underneath the frame of the chair. The military backpack I use, they thought was ingenious because I was able to take the modularity built into the backpack and adapt it to the wheelchair with cupholders and all pouches within reach. They were most impressed however with my luggage racks (capable of holding 80lbs consistently) and my wheelchair gloves (built off of mountain bike gloves). It was the combination of all these innovations that inspired them to offer me the job, because they could see I would be able to help wheelchair users customize their chairs in every way they needed.

It's a talent God's blessed me with.

Now, for those of you who really know me, you know my career goals tend to focus on French, but that I've considered going into the wheelchair accessory business. I've always wondered how I would be able to do that, considering I'm about to start my seventh year studying French, and wheelchair parts are in a totally different work environment. For a while, I often wondered if I would end up buying a warehouse in France, just so I could sell wheelchair parts and not feel my education was put to waste.

Well, God has opened a possible door for me to do both the things I love, speak French and tinker with wheelchairs.

Try and tell me that's not a miracle.

It's all relative.

What good is it to read, know, or be able to quote scripture if you cannot connect it to your life, or more importantly, to the lives of those you're talking to when you do quote it?

For the heck of it, let's answer a question I've heard all too often after citing a Bible verse, "That's great for God, but what's it got to do with me?" Why does the Bible even matter? How can a book written thousands of years ago have anything to do with you and me in this modern age of iPads and global connectivity?

Everything that was written in it was written to teach us, so that through studying Scripture, we might have hope.

What's the connection between us and the Bible? Why is it supposed to give us hope?

In two words, God's love.

The entire Bible shows us how much God loves us, and how it's our own actions that get in the way of receiving God's love. Because God is perfect--i.e. faultless, sinless, and all about justice to the wronged--God cannot let anyone who isn't just as perfect come near him.

It's not that we're bad people, it's that we've done bad things. We all have. Every time we've ever hurt another person, told a white lie, or been sexually attracted to a person other than our spouse, it's called sin.

But how is the Bible about God's love if he can't stand to be around anyone who has ever sinned?

He gave us a choice.

We have the option to stop sinning as much as we can and believe God loved us enough to send his own son to die in our place. Because his son was perfect also, he was able to defeat death and come back to life. Now, he stands between God's justice and those who are guilty of sin and condemned to die yet believe Jesus died so they wouldn't have to.

That's the connection. That's why we quote Scripture. That's why we read the Bible, so that we might be more able to stop sinning and share the good news with people, that they don't have to consign themselves to hopelessness and desperation.

The Right to Complain

Raise your hand if you can complain with the best of them. I know I can. Like most people, I try not to, but some days I feel I could be one of the top contenders.

MD is my affliction; my knees and hips hurt when I walk for very long. Out of frustration from my tired body, I am more prone to stray off the path God would have me walk.

It's easy to blame Satan for all my physical ailments. It's like I've got a bullseye taped to my back. How big of a stretch is it to assume Satan is responsible for the problems in my social life?

As bitter as I often feel, I realize this resentment inspires hope.

Every day, God blesses me in so many more ways than I can even realize. Because of his love for me, I am not consumed by the anger and hate that burns deep down.

Constantly, I remind myself that it is the Lord I hope in, and that God will do more for me than I'm capable of dreaming for myself.

Therefore, I sit alone in silent prayer and turn the other cheek whenever I am wronged.

Even though God allows us to experience grief, he will show us compassion because he doesn't like it when we suffer.

God simply doesn't deprive people of their right to choose nor the justice their choices may deserve. God gave us free will, and he will always look out for us in our time of need, so what right do we have to complain?

Whatever your situation is, call on the Lord in praise and prayer. He hears you, and do you know what he says? Do not be afraid.

Please understand, this was just my interpretation of a chapter of the Bible that reflected a lot of the sentiments I felt. Even though putting the Bible in a modern context instead of the context it was written is one of the worst things to do when interpreting it, a trait of all scripture is how personally relevant any part of the Bible can seem to be. The actual context of this chapter is far sadder than my little emo trip.

Jeremiah, the author, actually wrote this because of his grief over what tragedies his nation went through because of their own actions. Among other things, Jeremiah's people had abandoned God to worship idols, which for many involved male prostitution and group sex. Because of their disgraceful behavior, God was embarrassed to call them his people, and allowed the Babylonians to invade. Put simply, the entire nation was plowed under. Think 9/11, just every where. That's why Jeremiah was sad.

I Will Trust in the Lord

Okay, so I just erased the long-ish blog post I'd just written because I realized it was turning into a pity party, and that's not what I want.

What I want is a girlfriend who is as much a spiritual partner as she is a best friend and exclusive lover. I trust that if I place God first in my life, the Holy Spirit will eventually lead me to the right girl for me.

It's essentially a Bible-given promise, except this time the bird isn't a sparrow.

How God Works in Our Lives

It's difficult sometimes to understand how God carries out his ultimate plan for us. Me, personally, I never doubt God has a plan for what he wants me to be, but at the same time, I know our own choices can take us away from God's plans.

Ultimately, it comes down to our choice to sin or not to sin, because sin separates us from God, and essentially all God wants is to spend eternity with us. In the end, those who have an intimate relationship with God are better off than those who don't.

I've been struggling for several months now about how God's plan specifically works. It felt weird to me that God has a plan for our lives, but we can choose not to follow that plan, and yet God can incorporate our own choices into his plan. He's done it in my life, specifically in my relationship with Shana, as well as other times which I've already forgotten. As observers of the lives of our friends and family, we often feel we see something they're missing, be it a hopeless romance, an abusive relationship, or an untied shoe. How do these choices we watch our loved ones make play into God's plan for their lives--it's obvious in many cases the situation they're putting themselves in is not what God would have them do, but they're so blinded by their own sin and ignorance they cannot accept it.

It turns out, I just needed to ask God for understanding on the matter, as I did yesterday evening. The very next time I read my Bible, right before I went to bed, God gave me the answers I was looking for.

Countless worship songs and hymns have a verse that goes "You are the Potter, I am the clay." I knew they all referred to the way God molds us and makes us into what he would have us be, usually a faithful believer in Jesus as our Lord and Savior.

In Jeremiah, I found one of the possible biblical inspirations for those old songs.

Apparently, Jeremiah went to the Potter's house and watched the master at work. It was a pot, said potter turned, only, the clay didn't want to cooperate. I'm thinking it wanted to be an ashtray--get ahead of the curve, since at some point in the next two thousand years, cigarettes would be all the rage. But the potter was making a pot, not an ashtray. With his expert wisdom and skill, he worked with the flaws in the clay to make the best pot he could.

In case you missed the metaphor, God asks if he can do to each of us what the potter did to the clay.

We're all clay in God's hands. His plan for us is to make us into a beautiful pot, not some crummy ashtray. God knows we're not perfect, but God is, and his perfection can be shown in our lives if we'll trust him. Don't settle for an ashtray existence. Embrace all that God has called you to be, a pot.