Feeling lead to write

I've got a lot on my mind, and I think a lot of what is on my mind relates to my faith.  I have not written an entry for this blog in more than a year, partly due to time management issues, partly due to having very little to say in a format that was worth writing.  I also didn't want to get into the habit of using this blog as a soapbox to stand up and shout at people, which I'm sure I could do without meaning to.

At this point in my life, I am engaged to be married, I'm trying to move out of my parents' house and into an apartment four hours away, and I'm looking for a job since I am about to graduate with my Masters.  It's hard because I still don't have my Driver's License (although that might change here soon), I'm in a wheelchair (whatever that means in my case), and the only source of income I have at the moment is a hobby business I have selling costume props I made out of Nerf guns.

Even with a perspective as narrowed-in as just what is going on in my life, I have tons of challenges to trust God with.  Despite how I may make it look, it's not easy.  If I let myself, I could easily slip into despair, anxiety, frustration, entitlement, or even hopelessness.

But, I choose not to.

Not that simply choosing not to feel a certain way automatically means you don't feel that way.  Sometimes it's unavoidable to feel the way you feel.  I choose not to because I recognize the root cause of all these internal emotional dilemmas is not based on truth.  Each of these feelings I am experiencing or could experience at any moment relate to fear of failure, or suffering, or disappointment, or going without, or of struggling.  We've all got them.

Yet, the truth is I don't have to doubt God is faithful.  For every single one of those emotional pitfalls I'm facing, I can list the truth that disregards my fear and doubt.  As in, I may wrestle with how these things are going to play out but, get this, there's no point.

Here's where people with an Eeyore mentality might just give up and throw in the towel and wallow in their own putrid inconsolability, but sometimes I think Eeyore needs to get the tack out of his butt.

The reason there's no point worrying about the little details of my life are because my God is so much bigger than that!  When you realize the world is so much more than the tiny bubble we live in, it puts things in perspective.  Our own personal faith struggles are nothing compared to the enormity of the chaos in this world.

I'm not trying to say that the hardships we face on a day-to-day basis don't matter--because they do.  I just think it's easy to get distracted by what is in front of our own two eyes and miss the bigger picture of what God is doing in the world.

Often, I get the impression I am too radical in my faith, that I've gone off the deep end in lots of people's eyes because the most important thing that matters to me is introducing as many people as I can to my best friend Jesus.

But why?

Jesus is not a religion, for starters, but that's another topic for another day.

Let me tell you about the hope that I have, the hope that bridges the gaps between believing in something far off in the distance that I will one day have and the real tangible needs I have in the here-and-now.

The Bible promises the Lord will provide for us, meeting all our needs.  He will clothe us, feed us, and take care of us so we have nothing to worry about.

Sure, we in our fallen state, we will fail and we will fall short, but it does not make us worthless or incapable of getting back up and trying again.  God is the God of the impossible. 

I could go on and on about the wonders of the Lord and how many times he has come through for me, but my point is that with all the incredible moments in your own life where God has kept his promises to you, how can you not want to share it with the world?

Me, I look at the terrorist attacks in Paris and Beirut, and I see people begging for these answers, the universal truths we all hunger for.  Even in the terrorists, I see a cry for justice, and love and compassion--I don't care what the sin is, we're all trying to fill a God-sized hole, and forgiveness is offered to everyone not because they deserved it, but because they didn't.  That's what love is!  People always quote John 3:16--for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life--but people always forget what comes next! Verses 17 and 18 say God didn't send Jesus to crack the whip and condemn the world--they were condemned already!  Who knows how things would have been different if the terrorists had tasted that!

In response to the terrorist attacks, lots of people are freaking out about the whole Syrian refugee crisis, but you know what? Call me crazy, but I feel we need to fling the gates wide open and welcome them with open arms! I don't care that one in however many could be a terrorist!  Has anyone ever stopped to consider that by not accepting them in love, we might be creating a generation of terrrorists for our children to get slaughtered by?

Nevermind the fact the Bible commands the Lord's people to take in and shelter refugees all over the Old and New Testaments.

Ugh, love is the answer people.